Page 5 - Scripts

5.
RENATO (CONT'D)
She thought I’d been hired by the
real author to take his place and
get the deal. I was so flattered, I
knew I had to choose them.

HOLLY
Incredible! I only got half of
that.
(she posts the reply and
waits for the next one)
Alright, Joannathan from Tennessee
asks, ‘How did you feel knowing BBC
wouldn’t pick up the TV adaptation
of Monastery’?

RENATO
(downs a shot)
Oh, I felt great! Amazing! Felt
happier than your mom did when she
pushed your fat-lipped ass face off
her muffin, you donkey scrotum!

HOLLY
Holy -

RENATO
Did you type that? Type that, I’ll
drink.

HOLLY
You already -

He downs another shot.

HOLLY (CONT’D)
Okay, um, next one, maybe? Uh,
‘Some Bitch Named Justine’,
interesting name, wants to know why
there are no minority characters in
‘Monastery’.

RENATO
‘Cause all the blacks are in your
ass!

HOLLY
Oh Jesus Mary and Joseph.

RENATO
I know, I know, my bad, my foul,
I’ll drink.

He downs another shot.