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father has ruined his daughter’s life and must endure pain in order to
heal her.

If the father has repented, we can assume that he would probably
be pleased that his daughter should scorn him in her heart, so that
she can get married and so that he should obtain atonement for what
he did to her3. Perhaps it is correct to involve the father and consult
him about the treatment options, so as to save him as much embar-
rassment as possible.

Once the daughter has recovered and has married and her wounds
have begun healing she should be notified that she should again re-
spect her father because she is under obligation to him for having
brought her into the world. Despite the damage he caused her, her
indebtedness to him has not been cancelled4.

ɳ Summary and Conclusion

The treatment is permitted and the psychologist fulfills all the mitz-
vos mentioned above.

3. This is not comparable to our earlier requirement that the father’s explicit per-
mission be sought, because in that situation no repentance was involved on his
part. This is not the case here, where he knows that he has sinned and has now
repented, so we can assume that he probably agrees that his daughter should
scorn him in her heart.

4. It should be pointed out that the mitzvah of honoring parents is not solely an
interpersonal matter, like repaying a debt but is also an obligation to Heaven,
as explained at length earlier, siman 215, on the topic ‘To What Extent Does the
Mitzvah of Honoring Parents Obligate Children to Care for Them?’ See also
siman 240, on the topic of, ‘A Mother who Asks her Physician to Abort her
[Hydrocephalic] Fetus’ [that cannot leave the womb on its own], where we write
that after the Giving of the Torah there is an obligation to honor even a parent
who wanted to have his child thrown into a furnace.

Disrespectful thoughts towards Parents 2 199