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(343:3) clearly rules – but not to have him transgress a positive com-
mandment, see Magen Avraham. (269:1 and 471:7)]

ɳ Summary and Conclusions

1. It is a mitzvah for anyone who has been insulted by a col-
league to fulfill the command to “Thoroughly rebuke your
colleague and do not bear sin on his account.” To this end
he should discuss the matter with him, for he may apolo-
gize and explain his actions. If his colleague neither denies
having wronged him nor asks for forgiveness he should tell
him openly that he hates him and he subsequently does
not transgress, “Do not hate your brother in your heart.”
By entertaining thoughts of repaying a colleague’s wrong-
doing one does not violate “Do not take revenge nor bear a
grudge.”

2. Even Rabbi Yitzchak of Acco employed his imagination
in order to negate the words of those who bothered him
over nothing, imagining their words to be no more than
the sounds made by an animal. The Chazon Ish writes in
a similar vein. Our Sages z”l, added that a person should
train himself in accepting that his own sins are the cause of
other people aggravating him.

3. In regard to parents, we are commanded to honor them in
our hearts as if they were great and honorable people and it
is forbidden to slight their honor even if only in one’s heart
and thoughts.

4. If a father comes seeking guidance for his son in order to
restore peaceful relations between them and the therapist
finds no other way of doing so besides having the son
imagine getting angry with his father and the father explic-
itly requests this therapy in order to bring his and his son’s
hearts closer, it may be possible to allow it.



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