Page 66 - The Freckled Eye - Book

know and can prepare.” Prepare? I said. He said, so you can prepare to
make arrangement’s. Arrangements? I said. Dr. Phan could tell I was
shutting down and not comprehending what he was saying. Or maybe that I
was comprehending and I was about to lose it. She said, Yes. The second
type of cancer is terminal. If it’s that kind, it will most likely go to the liver and
there’s nothing we can do at that point.
Holy Crap! Was this all real?

I somehow found a breath, then breathing ever so slowly I said, what if we
take my eye out? Could that help? It’s crazy… now I was offering my eye in
return for my life. It’s amazing how you can change your thoughts about
something, so quickly when faced with something like this.

Dr. Phan said, “No.” If it’s the bad cancer, it’s probably already leaked out into
your body. That’s why they don’t remove the eye anymore. She said the next
step would be to take a liver ultra sound. because that's where the cancer
would mostly likely go or could have originated from. I was in total shock at
that moment. I did not see any of this coming.

I then asked Dr. Phan, if it had leaked out, how long would it take for me to
know? She said about 3 years. I took a moment to try and digest all that I'd
heard. I then reiterated the information I had heard back. Dr. Phan and the
other Dr. said that I was asking good questions.

Dr. Phan then asked, do you have a decision right now about the biopsy? Of
course, you can change your mind, but is there one way or another you’re
leaning? I said, my feeling is that I don’t want to do the biopsy. There doesn’t
seem to be any good reason in doing it except to know and I’m not sure that
would be healthy for me. I also don’t want to take any additional risks leaking
cells out. No matter how small the odds were, that could happen and I wasn’t
going to do anything to help it. I’ll just deal with the future as it comes.

I then asked both the doctors, what would they do regarding the biopsy? Dr.
Phan said she agreed with my thinking and would do the same. She said she
would still prepare just in case and I agreed with her. The other doctor said
he’d do the biopsy. Of course, he says that. I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to
do it.

Dr. Phan then said, “Do you have any more questions? I said no. Both
doctors commented again on how calm I was and they wanted to make sure I
was ok. I told them, “I was definitely freaking out, but I knew that I had to stay