Page 67 - The Freckled Eye - Book

calm in order for me to hear what they were saying.” I understood how
serious this all was and I needed to stay as calm as possible.

Dr. Phan said her assistant would call to set up the liver ultra sound and
schedule the radiation therapy. She said the radiation therapy would be
scheduled in about a month, because they only did this treatment once a
month. She had also mentioned that there were usually about 4 to 5 patience
a month that have this done. So, I said ok. I didn’t like that I had to wait
another month, but it seemed so in sequential now. I was mentally
done. Once I left the exam room, I went to find mom. I needed to update her
now. What the hell was I going to say?

Once I saw my mom in the waiting room, the gravity of the situation was really
setting in. I could fill myself inhale slowly filling my lungs with air. There was
no exhale for a good few seconds. I waived to mom for her to walk out. She
looked at me, trying to assess where I was. Had they done the second Heat
Laser treatment to me? As we started walking down the hall, I tried to tell her
what had gone on. I’m not exactly sure what came out out of my mouth,
except for that the Heat Laser treatment didn’t work and I had to have
radiation. We walked down the hall and stopped at the bathroom, I was
st
quiet. We walked into the elevator to go down to the 1 floor and then walked
outside heading towards the parking garage. I was trying to process
everything.

Once we got to the garage, I then told her about the two types of cancer and
that I wouldn’t know which kind I had. Mom could see I was completely
stressed and exhausted. She hugged me as she always did when something
was wrong. She told me to try and relax and we’d talk about it later. She
could tell I was on all systems overload.

As we drove home, I was in a daze. I’d share some information with mom as
things came to my head. Then I’d be quiet. Finally, we got back to the house
and I filled her in on the rest. Mom said things would be ok and we’d get
through this. She said, I was doing everything I could do and she hugged me
again. Those hugs are what saved me in those dark moments. I felt
protected and safe with her. Thank goodness for her, my savior. I can’t
imagine going through this without her.

Charlie and Jill got home later that day. Luckily Charlie Max, my nephew
wasn’t there. I began to fill them in on what had transpired that day. Through
the tears, I got through it. The stress of just having to tell them was