Page 29 - eBook Living Water 2

months I miscarried again. The doctor again said not to be
discouraged.

1976

Another year passed, and I became pregnant for the third time.
When I began to bleed at three months, I went to a pregnancy
specialist who put me on weekly hormone shots. It stopped the
bleeding and I carried the baby for six months before waking up one
morning with contractions. I gave birth to a tiny one and a half
pound little girl who never took a breath. We named her Carrie, after
my favorite grandmother.

I was completely devastated; returning home without my baby
girl was unbearably painful. I also had a gnawing guilt that I may
have actually caused my miscarriages by injuring my body with all
the abortions I’d had. The only bit of comfort I received at the time
was from my little cockapoo doggie, Elsie, who had given birth to a
litter of adorable little fluffy puppies that I was able to hold and
cuddle while working through my grief. Fred had shown no emotion
whenever I became pregnant, nor any remorse when they ended. The
year was 1976. We had weathered three difficult years together.