Page 30 - HaMizrachi Yom HaAtzmaut 5782 USA

I Belong Here, Yes I Do,

No Questions Asked!
Tehilla
Katz

made Aliyah right after my You will add these documents to ‘The
year in seminary, with about Document File’, a bulky binder that
twenty Hebrew words in will be so crammed with papers you
I my vocabulary. Sure, I knew will need to purchase an extra suitcase
it would be difficult, but I for it. At some point, someone will
could do hard things. I graduated high recommend you join Secret Jerusalem
school! I wouldn’t even have to drain on Facebook, a group so obscure that
the swamps. How hard could this there are over 96,000 members. This
immigrating thing be? gives you the chance to be a part of
something bigger than yourself, a
Three years and many crying sessions forum where thousands of people can
later, the answer to that question is: ask the same questions over and over
very. Turns out, Aliyah is incredibly and get ignored (except for random
stressful and has been so since the days questions about bonsai trees or yoga
when David Ben-Gurion tore apart his retreats; somehow, these regularly get
house looking for his children’s long- answered).
form unabridged birth certificates. I
am certainly in no position to offer On your fateful Aliyah day, you will Tehilla's birthday party in a bomb shelter.
advice on this process; I don’t even come prepared to the airport with handed your teudat zehut, given a free
own a pair of Blundstones! But if I had your nicest blue and white outfit. If taxi ride, and left to integrate. Yuri will
to epitomize the Aliyah experience in you have children or a spouse, you will vanish into the sunset, likely never
one sentence, it would be this: Aliyah is make sure that all of your blue and to be seen again, and all attempts
a sequence of questions and answers. white outfits are coordinated. After to email him will rebound back into
all, these pictures are being posted on
The questions begin long before you the Nefesh b’Nefesh Facebook page! cyberspace.
step foot on the plane, when the dream You clutch that folder of documents At some point soon afterwards, you
of Aliyah is still a “five-year plan.” In the which is stuffed to bursting with your will have a sinking feeling, somewhere
months and years leading up to your entire existence – from your great in your stomach, that you have made
Aliyah, you will make it your mission grandparents’
to educate yourself on every aspect ketubah to your
of the Middle East. You will forge a grocery store
bond with your Nefesh B’Nefesh Aliyah receipts (you
advisor, an eternally patient individual might need those!)
named Keren or Yuri, to a degree that – and guard it more
you will never experience with anyone carefully than your
else. You will hound Keren and Yuri offspring. Yuri will
with questions at all hours of the be on standby.
night. “What the heck is an apostille? Your mother will
Does being Israeli mean I have to buy tearfully send you
a pair of Shoresh sandals? Should I off with Kirkland’s
move to Beit Shemesh? Will they let finest and ten
me make Aliyah if I don’t like Bamba?” packs of Costco
You will need documents you didn’t barbeque sauce.
realize existed (I moved here three But nothing can
years ago, and I still think an apostille prepare you for
is a man named Matthew or Paul). when you are

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