Page 57 - HaMizrachi #27 Purim USA 2021

RELATIONSHIPS GENERAL INTEREST

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz Rabbi Moshe Berliner

Purim and Marriage

hazal chose to call this holiday What is G-d’s purpose in creating a and downs, times of joy and times of
Purim. Why? To gain insight into world in which His hidden Hand directs stress, times when G-d’s compassion
Cthis choice, it is helpful to juxta- the force of history? He wanted a ה ָ רי ִ ּ ד is hidden. In every situation, we can
pose the name “Purim” with the name םיִנ ֹו ּ ת ְ ח ַּ ת ַּ ב, a dwelling place in His cre- choose to act and react either out of
of the central mitzvah of the holiday, the ation. He wanted a world in which His immediate response, without thought
reading of the Megillah. presence might not be recognized by the to the consequences, or we can consider
naked eye but could be revealed when our actions and respond by connecting
Purim is named for the רּו ּ פ, the lottery one understands His guiding presence.
Haman used to establish the day for the What is the essence of that presence? to the values which reflect the deepest
destruction of the Jewish people. What What is it He desires for us to do when desire of G-d, i.e., that our lives, the lives
does choice by lottery represent? Pure recognizing His hand as the essence of of our marriages and our families, reflect
His values of love, respect, compassion
chance, capriciousness, unpredictability, life? He wants us to live in this world in a and caring.
a world without purpose. It bespeaks a way that expresses His middot. He wants
life without ultimate meaning or future the world, in all its darkness, to be illu- Chazal call this holiday Purim to express
goals, a world in which things simply minated by man who recognizes G-d’s our immediate, often inchoate experi-
happen. In the world of רּו ּ פ there are Kingship and acts in a loving, caring, ence of everyday life. We are bidden to
recognizable causes and consequences, G-d-like way. read the Megillah both at night, to sym-
patterns and structures. It is not a That is the underlying message of the bolize the periods when darkness pre-
nonsensical world. Haman does want Megillah. In the face of the ostensible vails, and again in the day, symbolizing
to destroy the Jewish people. He takes rule of the רּו ּ פ, the seeming lack of pur- the times when light prevails, revealing
terrifying steps to do so. He knows pose to history, replete with evil and the truths of G-d’s guiding hand. We
what he is doing and plans carefully. corruption, there is in fact a guiding read the Megillah twice to emphasize
But the ultimate capriciousness of it all hand whose ways and ultimate purpose our resolve that in all situations we strive
is revealed by the way he chooses the are commands for us to build our lives to live our lives embracing the revealed
date. He simply throws a רּו ּ פ, a lottery. reflecting His middot of love, concern truth of G-d’s benefice.
The plan is nefarious but the underlying and care. Purim Sameach!
meaning is exposed by the absurd way
he chooses the time of the attack. The message of the Megillah is relevant
to all aspects of our lives. It is perhaps
This idea stands in sharp contrast with most relevant to our marriages. In our
a second central concept of Purim – the closest relationship, we can choose to
reading of the Megillah. The word ה ָּ ל ִ ג ְ מ live on a superficial level, allowing the
is derived from the word תֹו ּ ל ַ ג ְ ל, to reveal, day-to-day circumstances of our lives to
to bring to light, to make known. It sig- dictate its meaning, flowing and reacting
nifies an understanding which brings to whatever we meet along the way. Or
to light the underlying principles, the we can view our marriages as an oppor-
deeper meaning of the things we expe- tunity to connect with the deeper values
rience in our lives. When we read the which bespeak the guiding hand of G-d.
Purim story in the Megillah, the cursory We can view marriage as an opportunity
external experience of life represented to live in congruence with the spiritual
by the רּו ּ פ is revealed to be an illusion. underpinning which reflects G-d’s
Megillat Esther proclaims that all the values of caring, loving and giving. Rabbi Moshe Berliner is an author, M.S.W.
events of the world are in fact an expres- We can understand that everything in and therapist specializing in family and
sion of G-d’s guiding Hand. life, including our marriages, has ups marriage.

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