Page 57 - HaMizrachi Purim Australia 5781

RELATIONSHIPS GENERAL INTEREST

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz Rabbi Moshe Berliner

Purim and Marriage

hazal chose to call this holiday What is G-d’s purpose in creating a and downs, times of joy and times of
Purim. Why? To gain insight world in which His hidden Hand directs stress, times when G-d’s compassion
Cinto this choice, it is helpful to the force of history? He wanted a ה ָ רי ִ ּ ד is hidden. In every situation, we can
juxtapose the name “Purim” with the םיִנ ֹו ּ ת ְ ח ַּ ת ַּ ב, a dwelling place in His cre- choose to act and react either out of
name of the central mitzvah of the hol- ation. He wanted a world in which His immediate response, without thought
iday, the reading of the Megillah. presence might not be recognized by to the consequences, or we can consider
the naked eye but could be revealed our actions and respond by connecting
Purim is named for the רּו ּ פ, the lottery when one understands His guiding
Haman used to establish the day for presence. What is the essence of that to the values which reflect the deepest
the destruction of the Jewish people. presence? What is it He desires for us desire of G-d, i.e., that our lives, the
What does choice by lottery represent? to do when recognizing His hand as the lives of our marriages and our fami-
Pure chance, capriciousness, unpre- essence of life? He wants us to live in lies, reflect His values of love, respect,
compassion and caring.
dictability, a world without purpose. It this world in a way that expresses His
bespeaks a life without ultimate mean- middot. He wants the world, in all its Chazal call this holiday Purim to
ing or future goals, a world in which darkness, to be illuminated by man who express our immediate, often incho-
things simply happen. In the world of recognizes G-d’s Kingship and acts in a ate experience of everyday life. We are
רּו ּ פ there are recognizable causes and loving, caring, G-d-like way. bidden to read the Megillah both at
consequences, patterns and structures. That is the underlying message of the night, to symbolize the periods when
It is not a nonsensical world. Haman Megillah. In the face of the ostensible darkness prevails, and again in the
does want to destroy the Jewish people. rule of the רּו ּ פ, the seeming lack of pur- day, symbolizing the times when light
He takes terrifying steps to do so. He pose to history, replete with evil and prevails, revealing the truths of G-d’s
knows what he is doing and plans corruption, there is in fact a guiding guiding hand. We read the Megillah
carefully. But the ultimate capricious- hand whose ways and ultimate purpose twice to emphasize our resolve that in
ness of it all is revealed by the way he are commands for us to build our lives all situations we strive to live our lives
chooses the date. He simply throws a reflecting His middot of love, concern embracing the revealed truth of G-d’s
רּו ּ פ, a lottery. The plan is nefarious but and care. benefice.
the underlying meaning is exposed by Purim Sameach!
the absurd way he chooses the time of The message of the Megillah is relevant
the attack. to all aspects of our lives. It is perhaps
most relevant to our marriages. In our
This idea stands in sharp contrast with closest relationship, we can choose to
a second central concept of Purim – the live on a superficial level, allowing the
reading of the Megillah. The word ה ָּ ל ִ ג ְ מ day-to-day circumstances of our lives
is derived from the word תֹו ּ ל ַ ג ְ ל, to reveal, to dictate its meaning, flowing and
to bring to light, to make known. It sig- reacting to whatever we meet along
nifies an understanding which brings the way. Or we can view our marriages
to light the underlying principles, the as an opportunity to connect with the
deeper meaning of the things we expe- deeper values which bespeak the guid-
rience in our lives. When we read the ing hand of G-d. We can view marriage
Purim story in the Megillah, the cur- as an opportunity to live in congruence
sory external experience of life repre- with the spiritual underpinning which
sented by the רּו ּ פ is revealed to be an reflects G-d’s values of caring, loving
illusion. Megillat Esther proclaims that and giving. Rabbi Moshe Berliner is an author, M.S.W.
all the events of the world are in fact an We can understand that everything in and therapist specializing in family and
expression of G-d’s guiding Hand. life, including our marriages, has ups marriage.

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