Page 27 - HaMizrachi YmYm 2020 FLIPv3

Parenting

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz
ELE TOR

PITCH

few years ago, in an elevator only Orthodox Jew remaining in the they felt coming home Thursday night
of all places, I witnessed a elevator, I got a few meaningful glances and smelling Shabbat cooking, how
A remarkably effective “elevator from the other passengers who were peaceful their homes were on Shabbat,
pitch” for a Torah lifestyle. obviously mulling over her words. and how much they enjoyed the time
spent with their siblings and parents.
It was Thursday evening and I was vis- My friends, that was about as close to Sadly, there were a significant number
iting a family member on the eighth a perfect elevator pitch for a Torah who wrote about the stress and anx-
floor of Maimonides Hospital in the lifestyle as I have ever seen or heard. iety, about tense Shabbat tables filled
Boro Park section of Brooklyn, New Judging from the looks of my fellow with discord and negative energy. The
York. In the lobby, I boarded the ele- elevator-riders, they were envious of woman conducting the survey then
vator, which was filled with individu- the serenity in the woman’s voice as she asked these same girls to self-assess
als comprising a wide range of ethnic described her Shabbat experience. regarding their feelings about Yiddish-
and religious backgrounds. One floor keit and G-d.
up, several people disembarked from If I may take a page from the eleva-
tor pitch philosophy, my 30-second
the elevator, and two women walked Analysis of the data collected in her
in – an Oriental nurse and an Ortho- response to the question of how to study revealed a stunning correlation
effectively deal with the colossal chal-
dox woman, a regular volunteer for lenges of the Internet and technology between the two components of her
the local Bikur Cholim. They walked would be that we need to improve the study. Those with positive Shabbat
in mid-conversation, with the nurse quality of our home life. If our chil- experiences were more spiritual and
finishing a description of her plans for dren had feelings for Shabbat similar observed mitzvot more regularly. Most
Saturday and Sunday. She then turned to those of the woman in the elevator, of them reported that they planned
to the volunteer and asked her, “So, fewer of them would be populating on sending their children to the types
what are you doing this weekend?” hangouts and abusing substances. of schools they attended and wanted
to parent their children the way they
The frum woman responded with a About 12 years ago, a frum woman were raised. Conversely, the girls who
100-watt smile and said, “You know, living in Yerushalayim sent me a fas- reported stress at home were far more
the nicest thing about being Jewish cinating dissertation she had prepared disconnected spiritually and more
is our Shabbat. For 25 hours, I get to for her post-graduate schooling. In it, inclined to reject the values of their
turn off my cell phone and email. I she explored her theory that there was parents. And these patterns were con-
just enjoy my husband and children, a direct correlation between how chil- sistent in girls attending v and modern
unwind from the week – and try my dren enjoyed Shabbat in their homes Orthodox seminaries.
best to get closer to G-d.” The elevator and how connected they felt to G-d. So while our attention may be focused
bell rang for her floor and she exited on the external challenges we face in
with the nurse. As she walked out, all Over the course of a school year, she today’s environment, we may be better
of us still on the elevator heard her say interviewed many dozens of girls who served turning inward and improving
to her friend, “You can’t imagine how were attending seminaries in her com- the quality of our home lives. In fact,
much I look forward to Shabbat all munity. As part of the study, she asked I strongly feel that … sorry, it’s the
week long.” each of them to describe the environ- eighth floor. Gotta go.
ment of their parents’ homes in four
Silence reigned as we rode up the next time periods: Thursday night, Friday
few floors, but it was quite evident that afternoon, Friday night and Shab- Rabbi Yakov Horowitz, Founding Dean of
her words had had a powerful impact bat morning. Many of the girls wrote Yeshiva Darchei Noam of Monsey, is an
on all those who heard it. In fact, as the beautiful comments about how relaxed educator, author and child safety advocate

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