Page 280 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

10:30 p.m. Everything is going from bad to worse. Had thought only silver

lining in cloud of mother's criminality was that it might bring me and Mark
Darcy closer together but have not heard a peep from him since he left the
Alconburys'. Have just been interviewed in my flat by police officers. Started
behaving like people who are interviewed on the television after plane crashes in
their front gardens, talking in formulaic phrases borrowed from news broadcasts,
courtroom dramas or similar. Found myself describing my mother as being
'Caucasian' and 'of medium build.'

Policemen were incredibly charming and reassuring, though. They stayed
quite late, in fact, and one of the detectives said he'd pop round again when he

was passing by and let me know how everything was going. He was really
friendly, actually.

Saturday 25 November

9st, alcohol units 2 (sherry, ugh), cigarettes 3 (smoked out of Alconburys'
window), calories, 4567 (entirely custard creams and salmon spread
sandwiches), 1471 calls to see if Mark Darcy has rung 9 (g.).

Thank God. Dad has had a phone call from Mum. Apparently, she said not to

worry, she was safe and everything was going to be all right, then hung up
immediately. The police were at Una and Geoffrey's tapping the phone line as in
Thelma and Louise and said she was definitely calling from Portugal but they
didn't manage to get where. So much wish Mark Darcy would ring. Was