Page 283 - Bridget Jones's Diary - by Helen FIELDING

Monday 27 November

9st 1., alcohol units 0, cigarettes 50 (yesss! yesss!), 1471 calls to see Mark
Darcy has rung 12, hours of sleep 0.

9 a.m. Just having last fag before going to work. Completely shattered. Dad and
I were made to wait on a bench in the police Station for two hours last night.
Eventually we heard a voice approaching along the corridor. 'Yes, that's right it's
mee! 'Suddenly Single' every morning! Of course you can. Have you got a pen?
On here? Who shall I put it to? Oh, you naughty man. Do you know I've been
dying to try one of those on . . . '

'Oh, there you are, Daddy,' said Mum, appearing round the corner wearing a
policeman's helmet. 'Is the car outside? Oof, d'you know - I'm dying to get home
and get the kettle on. Did Una remember to turn on the timer?'

Dad looked rumpled, startled and confused and I didn't feel any less so
myself.

'Have you walked free?' I said.

'Oh, don't be silly, darling. Walked free! I don't know!' said Mum rolling her
eyes at the senior detective and bustling me out of the door ahead of her. The
way the detective was blushing and fussing around her I wouldn't have been in
the least surprised if she'd got herself off by giving him sexual favors in the
interview room.