Page 464 - Under the Cover of Darkness

parties. Surprising cos I’ve always seen myself more as an
"Anti-Social Moth" but I must admit I don't so much
"flit" as sort of drag my exhausted ass along, struggling
to conceal my Panda eyes with make-up and bury my
migraine beneath a cocktail of prescription drugs and
dark glasses.

23 August 2016 —
Do I look like I speak fluent wheelie-bin? (Maybe don’t
answer that) Just had a bizarre "conversation" with 2
lovely men from Redditch Bollox Council. (Well one of
them may have been a worker cyborg - he didn’t seem to
speak) They asked if I’d asked for assisted bin collection
and for the larger size bin. I said yes please. They were
confused.
Doesn’t take long to go from 0 to baffled with the council
does it.
"So is it a 360 you want?"
"Mmmm K I literally don’t understand what you’re asking
me now. I can’t manage to put the bins out sometimes
and they’re not really big enough now that you only emp-
ty them twice a month. I just want to resolve that."
"Sooooo, you want a GREEN bin?"
"I already have a green bin. It’s that big green bin you’re
leaning on"
"Soooo....you don’t want a 180, you want a 360?"
"Erm......I’m going to shut the door now"
Keep smiling and nodding whilst backing away slowly.......
I think they’ve just exchanged the grey bin for the
supersized with fries one. God knows what will happen
on bin day.....