Page 106 - STMT 2nd Edition

Consider this: "For men, it's emotionally meaningful just to have a

conversation," says New York clinical psychologist Alon Gratch, Ph.D.,

author of If Men Could Talk: Translating the Secret Language of Men.

Even if that conversation isn't about something that strikes you as

emotionally meaningful.

Politics, sports, the pros and cons of a push mower versus one that's gas

powered — these talks can make him feel as connected to you as you feel

to him when he opens up about his emotions.

And when chattering phone and uncut vegetables interrupt the give-and-

take, Gratch says, "it can make him feel he's not being heard."

Of course, putting down the paring knife and pulling

up a chair can be a hard gift to give — multitasking,

after all, is what gets dinner on the table. But a little

ingenuity can go a long way.

Naomi Williams, a Website producer in San Francisco, catches

conversations with her husband on the fly.

"My husband's uncomfortable talking about his feelings, but he loves to

talk about other stuff, so we call each other on our cell phones while we're

driving or walking," she says. "He's always so happy when I call him. He'll

say, 'Oh, I was hoping it would be you.'"

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