Page 8 - Kingdom News Today Edition 6
P. 8
By Susan Galvin
My name is Susan Gavin. I’m an artist. I dedi- numerous medication to find what works for me,
cate this article in loving memory to my mother finding good psychiatrists and therapists, a lot of
Hellen Geroux. hard work in therapy, the
I had my first breakdown and hospitalization in love and support of family,
1995. Like many times since childhood I want- friend and love ones.
ed to die. My earliest memory, was me at five The two most important
years old, rocking in my bed in darken room components in my healing
asking Jesus to please take me to heaven to live process, was help from God
with him. and His creative ability He
Life was too scary and too painful. While in the gave me to be an artist. Art
hospital I was diagnosed with bipolar, clinical therapy is utilized in nearly
depression, and posttraumatic stress syndrome. all psychiatric wards in hospitals. That is where I
This revelation was both a devastation and re- reconnected with my desire for creative expres-
lief. The devastation was I have an illness with sion. After my release from that first of several
no cure that I would have to battle with my hospitalizations. I enrolled in college for the first
whole life and one that carries with it much time at the age of 40. For 2 years I immersed
stigma and misunderstanding. myself in art classes. Oh my Gosh! Joy! Excite-
ment! The original ideas, the emotions, and ex-
I was terrified. The relief was finally knowing pression of life around me on paper created such
what was wrong with me. The emotional roller a feeling of accomplishment, self-confidence,
coaster, the suicidal thoughts, the isolation from and self-worth. I believe my art connects me with
broken relationships, the lack of impulse control my true self, the parts of myself I sometimes feel
and temper tantrums. are too vulnerable to show the world.
I had to find out I was “crazy” to stop feeling When painting I’m in a quite conversation with
crazy? I had to make a decision, fight for my my body, mind and spirit. Art takes me out of the
life or give into despair and ultimately suicide. I inner world of, stresses, anxieties, and darkness
chose to call out to God for help, and strength. when my illness takes over and creates unrest in
Sometimes simply begging him to help me just my mind. With art, my mind becomes a quiet,
to hold on. God and I began my fight for life safe, calm world in living color. I’ve continue
together. My saving grace has been steadfast painting for these past 22 years despite the times
prayer, education about mental illness, trying my illness with depression laid me out flat
8 ~ Kingdom
News Magazine
