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418 | A New Light
your eyelids” (Proverbs 6:4). And the midrash says: “The beginning
of downfall is sleep” (Bereishit Rabbah 17). But the most shocking
statement comes from Sefer Hamidot, based on a midrash: “As a
result of much sleep and slumber, a person is pushed away from the
holy chariot, his face is changed, and the image of God is spoiled”
(Sefer Hamidot: Sheinah 2). May Hashem protect us.
What does all of this depend on? On the type of intent
with which a person goes to sleep.
Every individual can testify that when he goes to sleep with proper
intent and wakes up properly, throughout the next day he senses
the help of heaven and a special sweetness. On the other hand, it is
clear that if he goes to sleep because of the urge to sleep and with
a desire for the pleasure of sleep, it will be very hard for him to
get up—and even if he gets up on time, he will feel a mysterious,
unexplained bitterness throughout the day.
Merited or Did Not Merit?
Our sages teach that if a person merits, many things will sanctify
him, bring him close to Hashem and illumine him. But if he does
not merit, those same things will harm him greatly. For instance,
our sages say about the holy Torah: “If a person merits, it becomes
an elixir of life. If he does not merit, it becomes a deadly drug”
(Yoma 72b). Regarding the covenant of marriage, our sages say:
“If the couple merits, the Shechinah is with them. If they do not
merit, fire consumes them” (Sotah 17a). And regarding wine, they
say: “If a person merits, it makes him happy. If he does not merit,
it destroys him” (Yoma 76b).
The same paradigm applies to sleep (as we have learned here).
When a person merits to go to sleep for the honor of Hashem, with
proper intent and yearning, his sleep benefits him and renews all of
his powers. But if he does not merit, his sleep depresses him, tires
him out, pollutes him, kills him, and so forth.
As was stated earlier, whether or not a person will attain merit
depends on his preparation. That is why I composed a long prayer
Chapter Nine: | 423
Rabbi Yitzchak’s righteousness and simplicity, he was very anxious
and shaken by his every smallest thought that was not in keeping
with the Creator’s will, and by every instance in which his mind was
disengaged from the Holy One, blessed be He—even by accident
and even when he was overwhelmed. Then he would immediately
sit down to write a letter to his father and lament: “Woe is me …
Why am I living such a life? … Where am I in this world?…”
To us, because of our spiritual impoverishment, making such a
commotion out of such seemingly “small” things seems risible. It
appears to us that “there are worse things than that,” that “what
happened isn’t so terrible,” and that “this happens to everyone
1,000 times a day”—so that we even do not aspire for such closeness
to Hashem. But Rabbi Yitzchak lived with the goal of clinging to
Hashem at every moment, and he understood how terrible every
disengagement of the mind from Hashem is. The truth is that we
must laugh not at Rabbi Yitzchak but at ourselves, at the fact that
we are so dulled and blocked and far from this simple truth, so far
from the goal. Therefore, we see that Rabbi Natan never told him,
“What are you yelling about? This is not so terrible … everyone
falls in this area…” but he agreed that in truth it is fitting to cry
out. He only encouraged his son not to grow entirely discouraged,
heaven forbid, and told him that there is no despair and that he
should continue to strengthen himself and encourage himself, and
so forth, as is related in the introduction.
Always with You
All of the tzaddikim reached tremendous levels because they did
not remove their minds from Hashem for even a single moment. It
is written that Hashem was with King David. Why was Hashem with
him? Because he was always with Hashem. As the verse states, “I
am always with You” (Psalms 73:23). Joseph too clung to Hashem in
the darkest circumstances, until even the wicked Potiphar, who was
a harsh “husk,” a being entirely consisting of idolatry and pollution,
clearly saw that Hashem was with Joseph. “His master saw that
Hashem was with him” (Genesis 39:3). People could see with their
own eyes that David and Joseph were connected to Hashem and
clung to Hashem. It was not for nothing that David and Joseph