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A30 FEATURE
Wednesday 24 June 2020
White parents of Black children navigate a changing nation

By CLIFF BRUNT ents off guard. The Neals
Associated Press recall telling their son not
OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — to play hide-and-seek with
Izzy Simons has been fired their white friends in other
up about the prospect of people's yards for fear of
driving on his own. how it might look.
The 15-year-old has craved "I was not prepared for
the freedom a license what we were getting into
promises. He has proudly with the racial dynamic of
and effectively maneu- America," Paul Neal said. "I
vered the family's vehicles knew that there were white
around the church parking people that did not like
lot and beyond, and he's Black people. But I didn't
confident he'll pass his test realize what was coming."
in August. He imagines ar- Phillip and Christen Row-
riving at Southmoore High land of Oklahoma City ad-
School in Moore, Okla- opted their son, Jackson,
homa, someday in a navy in 2018. The day it became
blue crew cab Silverado official, the family celebrat-
truck with a lift kit. ed by spending time at a
His excitement has been mall in Norman, Oklahoma.
replaced with uncertainty. Relatives proudly wore T-
Simons, who is Black, was shirts commemorating the
jarred emotionally after The Porter family is pictured at their church Friday, June 12, 2020, in Newcastle, Okla. From left are occasion.
watching video of the kill- Timothy, Matt, Julie and Paul. The family lives in a small, mostly white town. Associated Press A security guard put a
ing of George Floyd, a damper on the experience
Black man who died after The Associated Press dis- people and be willing to adopted son, 11-year-old by breezing past them to
a Minneapolis white police cussed race with six white call out racism when they Vaughn. Denise said he question Jackson.
officer pressed a knee into couples who have ad- see it. "wanted to hide under his "It was like, that moment I
his neck for several min- opted or have custody of "We need to realize that blanket," something he realized," Phillip Rowland
utes on May 25. In those Black children. These par- it's going to be hard, tough does when he is uncomfort- said. "We're all in matching
moments, concepts he'd ents are trying to help their work, and you're going to able. shirts, and you're going to
learned about such as ra- children understand race lose friends," Michael Mor- Cindy Neal, who has ad- pull this crap? I had seen it
cial profiling and "Driving in America while getting an ris, who has adopted two opted three Black children (racism), but it was so much
While Black" fully registered. accelerated course them- Black children with his wife, with her husband, Paul, different having it be my
Sarah Dunn, a white wom- selves. Katie, said. "And that's OK." said the couple fears their son."When the couples en-
an raised in rural Kansas, Floyd's death has inspired Dr. Richard Barth, dean of advice on dealing with po- counter issues — from figur-
has learned much about national and international the University of Maryland lice might not matter. Their ing out Black hair and skin
race since she and her hus- protests and led to chang- School of Social Work, said oldest, Belachew, is a tall, care products to helping
band, Josh, took custody es in police procedures. planning is the next step athletic 14-year-old young their children understand
of Izzy six years ago. Still, These parents say that's to set up more meaningful man -- no longer a cute how to deal with racism —
she wasn't ready for Izzy's a great start, but for the action. toddler. they often lean on a net-
response to the Floyd inci- country to take full advan- "We still don't have a path As they wrestle with these work of Black friends. Yet,
dent. tage of the moment and to follow from the discus- issues, these parents know they know those conver-
"When we talked, he said, make America better for sion of racism and struc- that helping their children sations won't cover all the
tural racism and the need has prepared them to help bases. They educate them-
for everyone to speak out the white people around selves because they recog-
that Black Lives Matter to a them better understand nize that sometimes, their
framework for what's really Black people and their friends also are struggling.
going to be different and challenges. And now, they "Especially when things are
are the next major steps — say, white people finally as heightened as they are
beyond police reform — to are listening. now, (Black) people need
make our society more eq- Matt Porter is the pastor at to take care of themselves
uitable," Barth said. Victory Family Church in emotionally and may not
For now, there are immedi- Newcastle, Oklahoma. He have the energy to give
ate issues. Michael Morris and his wife, Julie, have anybody else," Cindy Neal
said he and his wife have adopted Paul and Timothy, said.
held off on having "the talk" both age 11. Matt Porter The Rowlands feel this
about race with their two said white people have movement is largely about
daughters, ages 10 and 5,. dodged these issues for too kids like Jackson, and they
The Dunn family is pictured outside their home Friday, June 12, "I'm at a loss for when to long. have made a point to
2020, in Oklahoma City. From left Sarah Dunn, Cooper Dunn, Izzy start talking to them about "I think it's natural to say, 'If it teach him to stand up for
Simons and Josh Dunn. Sarah Dunn, who grew up in rural Kansas, it because I don't want doesn't affect me, it doesn't himself. Christen and Jack-
has learned much about race since she and her husband, Josh, them to be scared," Morris, bother me. I'm going to son recently marched in
took custody of Izzy six years ago. an Oklahoma City resident, mind my business, I'm going a peaceful protest with a
Associated Press said. "It's something that to keep my head down,'" diverse group of friends on
they'll have to know." he said. "You don't get to a sunny afternoon in Okla-
'But now I'm kind of afraid their children, white people Craig and Denise Dragash do that. If you call yourself homa City.
to drive,'" she said. "And must go beyond carrying of Carmel, Indiana, felt a believer, you don't get to "To tell everyone and to
that's not something that signs, marching and chant- the national conversation do that." show everyone that it's
we have ever had to think ing. They must become ad- forced them to discuss The learning process at gone too far," Jackson
about." vocates along with Black current events with their times has caught these par- said.q