Page 39 - SAFFER 04

Sport

Green Grass and Home Colours HOCKEY

When you’re used to going to an office for work, it’s quite a change
to be working from home 100%. I’m still early for work, but it feels
like I’m sleeping in, as it’s only a flight of stairs and a little re-jig
of my living room to be ‘in the office’. Luckily, I work for a very
socially minded company and we had our first ‘zoom’ team meet-
ing last week, plus our marketing manager is doing a great job at
finding little pictures that just make you laugh in the morning,
and I think some of our guys are doing the 9am workout with Mr-
Whatever-his-name-is on YouTube – others are available.

In short, I’m lucky but it is still a bit lonesome most of the day, so
I break it up with a lunchtime walk. One of my hobbies is Nordic
Walking. And no, this is not ‘walking with sticks’ even though it
might look that way. I’m not using my poles at the moment, too
much concrete and the ‘feet’ on the poles make an awful racket
on concrete. But I still try to keep up a good pace. Last Thursday I
was a bit later than ‘normal’ and one of the people who were also
using the area for their daily exercise mentioned she hadn’t ‘seen
so many people around ever’. I stopped for a second and thought opportunity; I’m waiting for my colleague, no one recognises me
about an answer but decided not to. Not worth the energy. and I’m not that old. Combine that with umpiring in the lowest
My daily ‘brisk’ walk takes me up towards a nature reserve, then league that gets panel umpires, I must be a new, inexperienced
up and down a flight of stairs 3 times, some stretching in between, umpire. He tells me they don’t need to change shirts because the
then back along the river. Before I turn left at the locks, I go past home team have no shirt sponsors. ‘Interesting’ I think, let’s have
the hockey pitch used by the men’s sides of the club I umpire for. this, could be fun. He then continues to mention that the KNHB
A stark reminder of the current situation we are in as, even on – Royal Dutch National Hockey Association – had changed the
a day like today (Saturday), there is no one around. The hockey rules about home and away colours. ‘Correct’ I go. And then I get
pitch is part of the facilities of a 6th Form College, who also own an explanation of what the new rules say. Apparently, the Associ-
the rowing facilities next door from the pitch, and it’s just weird ation Board, in all its wisdom, had decided that if the home team
not seeing any students around doing any type of exercise. didn’t have a shirt sponsor, the away team could wear their home
kit and, in the event of a colour clash, the home team would have
But let me drop the references to the current situation, and look to change into their away kit.
back at some of the amusing episodes of officiating. Last century,
I umpired hockey at national level in Netherlands. The national Great story and to anyone not completely confident of the new
league often ended before the local leagues, and the national panel rule, highly plausible. In fact, the Board had changed the rule as
would be asked to help out locally or regionally if they could. One follows: the home club would no longer change colours if there
of these Sundays, I was appointed to a 4th division men’s match, was a clash with the away team’s kit. From the start of that season,
nothing at stake, just the usual issue of being the bottom league the away team would have the obligation to make sure shirt and
for panel umpires so last in the pecking order to get 2 rather than socks would not clash with that of the opposition. The away col-
none. As it was a beautiful day and I had an orange 2CV, plus I ours on the day, however, weren’t showing off the team sponsor’s
had never been to the home club, or the area for that matter, I de- logo that well, so, with a young girl as the only umpire there, the
cided to use backroads, roof completely rolled down to the back, captain had decided to bluff his way into using their main colours.
and leave early to give me plenty of time.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t as ‘green’ as they had thought and a deci-
I arrived at the ground about an hour before the start of the sive ‘don’t think so, nice try’ had the captain turn around and bark
match, had the umpire dressing room to myself and changed. the order to take off their tops. All the guys had put on their home
As I was early, I had done most of my warm-up routine when shirt over their away shirt. My colleague arrives and we do the
the teams arrived, so I decided to have a look at their warm-ups toss. Unfortunately, no one else tries me on that day, I was looking
and do a bit of jogging and stretching until my colleague arrived. forward to answering that all-important question with an ‘ah, well,
A few of the players make eye-contact, the captains introduce the Premier Division is finished so I had nothing else to do today’.
themselves. I’m in umpiring gear so no stick but a skirt (yes, we
were wearing skirts those days), yellow shirt and socks, so I guess Picture taken at the end of a tournament. I had umpired the final
they used the logic of ‘looks like umpire, must be umpire’. I tell with Yolanda Brada, the only other umpire not wearing the yellow
them we’re not doing the toss yet because I want to wait for my shirt. I had only been on the regional panel for a few months,
colleague. the ‘pyjama’ shirt was the old standard outfit, so when one of the
2 teams in the final was wearing yellow shirt and socks, I had to
The only thing I did do, was ask the captain of the away team borrow the shirt from the only other umpire who had brought
whether they had brought their away shirts, as there was a clear it with him. You guessed it, the lad standing next to me, and the
clash with the home team. I think the away captain smelled an shirt wasn’t exactly my size

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