Page 101 - Creeative Thinking

Because saying no is difficult for a lot of women, saying no and not backing down is
even harder. As you practise saying “no” more often and meaning it you are liable to
upset some of the people around you. (At first). Some of your close friends and
acquaintances may be uncomfortable with the new you. Some others may even seem
to be angry that you are no longer a doormat that they can wipe their feet on whenever
they so choose.

In each case, with every relationship, either the individual involved will get over it, or
they won’t. There is nothing you can say or do about how somebody else feels about
the changes you’ve made in your life.

The only person you can change is you and that is what we are working so hard to do.
So, if by becoming a little more assertive and a little less of a doormat you offend or
anger people close to you then so Be it. You may need to re-evaluate specific
relationships in your life to see why such individuals are uncomfortable with the new
you. It seems to me that if your friends are not proud of you for trying to improve
your life, than perhaps they really weren’t such great friends in the first place.

Just as you feel uncomfortable stepping out of your comfort zone, those around you
will feel the same at first as well. Give them a little time and perhaps some extra space
and they are likely come around. It will probably help to be as honest as you can while
still remaining tactful and polite about the lifestyle changes you are attempting to
make.

Your loved ones and others close to you are concerned about your emotional well
being. They want you to have a happier, more fulfilling life. Once they begin to see
this happening for you, any qualms they had about your newfound assertiveness will
soon fade away.

Something that is a little harder to deal with however is your own guilt about saying
no to people. The worksheets to follow are especially designed with this in mind.
Guilt, after all, is a powerful emotion.

Although it is unnecessary and highly destructive, guilt is one emotion that we, as
women tend to hold on to most tightly. Once you overcome the guilt, however, it will
be smooth sailing the rest of the way.

With the exception of one or two angry people, you will find that most people don’t
actually mind if you say no. I think, in fact, they often expect it. It is likely as well,
that once you decline the invitation, they will move on to the next unsuspecting
doormat on their list. Hopefully, they will then remove you from the list of people
they can bully in to compliance.

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