Page 167 - Creeative Thinking

My ex-husband and I dated off and on from the time I was fifteen years old until we got
married in 1995 and then for approximately two years after that until we finally separated

in 1998. As a result of spending a large portion of my adult life under the influence of
such a violent and abusive man, my self-esteem really went through the ringer. Let me
tell you that growing up as an adult child of an alcoholic and a child of divorce did not
leave me with much self esteem to begin with.

As a result of suffering an array of negative childhood experiences in addition to being

married to an extremely abusive man, I have been attending an assortment of counselling
and therapy since I was a teen.

Shortly after Jakob was born in 1996 I began to go more regularly in an attempt to find
some peace within myself. I have gone to women’s programs such as the one called
“Stopping the Violence”, as well as various other types of counselling for emotionally,
mentally and physically abused women. Furthermore, I have been to Alcoholics
Anonymous and Al-Anon in addition to Anger Management, and several other Self-esteem
building groups and one-on-one counselling. For the last ten or fifteen years of my life, I
have regularly been attending some sort of self-help program and strongly recommend
them as an invaluable tool for any person.

I am not sharing my story with you because I want your pity or sympathy. That couldn’t
be further from the truth. As a matter of fact, I kept quiet for years about my situation
because I felt humiliated and embarrassed by it. Having been able to move past any
feelings of shame that I once had, I now feel very proud of myself to have been able to
survive years of abuse from several people in my life and mature emotionally and

psychologically as a result of my experiences.

Each experience, as painful as it was at the time, allowed me to learn a valuable lesson
that I may otherwise not have come to realise. In addition to that, the tremendous
amount of support I have received over the years from qualified professionals in addition
to a few good friends that loved me unconditionally, allowed me to believe that I am a

beautiful person who did not deserve to be abused.

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