Page 8 - EH68

6 EASTERN HORIZON | LEAD ARTICLE

In my opinion, Western and I sometimes use self-compassion Earlier I talked about how, on
Buddhist psychology complement and forgiveness practices with my long retreats, we can settle into
each other very well. We need to clients. Self-compassion allows us subtle mind. Similarly, through the
understand and feel the particulars to overcome self-loathing and self- pointing out instructions taught in
of our traumas, but also to notice blame. But those practices have to Tibetan Buddhism, we can learn
how they pass through us. be connected with an understanding to touch into the field quality
of our interdependence. of awareness. In both cases we
Where these approaches differ can experience a sense of calm,
is the “sense of self.” In Western Also, the Mindful Pause and the wellbeing, connectedness, and a
psychology our sense of self Compassionate Choice Practice, natural sense of knowing. This
is strengthened as people are which have been described in in my experience also includes a sense of
encouraged to develop self- books ‘Heartwork: The Path of Self- open-heartedness and care.
esteem, self-confidence, and an compassion,’ and ‘Heart Medicine:
awareness of what they want and How to Stop Painful Patterns and The pointing-out instruction
don’t want as individuals. Buddhist Find Peace and Freedom-at Last,” involves a spiritual teacher or
psychology focuses more on the can be invaluable tools in helping profound text instructing us on
interdependence of us all. The sense a person experience less suffering how to successfully recognizes the
of self becomes more porous. One through reactivity. nature of mind. The instructions are
or the other approach can be most direct and precise. With practice,
useful at different times in the The Mindful Pause offers a quick they allow us to access what is
treatment process. way of checking in with one’s called “awake awareness” in the
heart and mind, and then finding moment, without going on a long
Buddhist psychologist Jack Engler emotional balance. retreat. The result is a feeling of
said, “we have to have a self, to bliss, wisdom, lucidity, knowing, and
lose a self.” At first we need to The Compassionate Choice Practice love. Within that vast perspective,
discover ourselves by looking at is a longer process of bringing we experience “loving awareness,”
the particulars of our history, then awareness and compassion and we learn how bring a feeling of
understand, grieve, and integrate. to a situation where we have equanimity and compassion when
But if we stop there, this process become triggered. This practice is faced with our own challenges and
can lead to self-preoccupation. We especially useful when one of our the challenges of others.
become solipsistic. This is where longstanding, reoccurring patterns
the Buddhist approach can come has been touched on. In real life, how do we cultivate
in. When we recognize that much love and compassion for someone
of our identity is a construct, Finally, forgiveness for ourselves who harmed or killed innocent
is relative, a wider perspective and others, meaning letting go of people, including children?
becomes available. the burden of our resentments,
allows us to live with more freedom This is an interesting question.
We can be happier when we become and peace. It helps to recognize that having
more porous and comfortable with compassion for our human
change. When we see ourselves In your book Heart Medicine, predicament does not mean we
more as a community of beings you mentioned that loving condone wrongdoing. There can be
who share a complicated human awareness is the antidote to the what the Dalai Lama calls “fierce
condition, then a preoccupation problems we encounter in life. compassion” where we speak out
with self can gradually be replaced Can you explain what is loving against a harmful action while
with a compassion for all. awareness and how is it related recognizing the humanity of the
to compassion? person who committed it.