Page 448 - Microsoft Word - Belicena respaldo

That’s to say, not everything was cut, because now that sensation had been transferred
totally out from me¸ to the concrete Wolrd.

I felt suddenly lucid and alert, while around me, the furniture, the floor, the walls of the
Department, all seemed to irradiate a frightful and threatening. Was something tenebrous that
was induced epidemically, it was perceived with all the body, with every organ, with
every atom. The same previous state, but inverted and exacerbated: the cosmic loneliness
was deep now, pure Presence; the abandonment: a silent call, but of an irresistible violence; the
reproach of the God, that seemed so Divine when it sprouted from the depths of the Soul, had
been converted in a bestial roar, obscene and aggravating.

It is not possible to express with words what I lived then; I can only give a pale idea if I
say that such Primordial Force was vaguely similar to the breath of an enormous and evil beast.

A fetid and offensive breath that sprouted from all the things, which was at the same
time the entrails, the organs, of that horrent and dangerous Dragon. A breath that imposed its
Presence full of Life; but this Life was to the Spirit, what the noise is to the music: vile
imitation and miserable copy. A voluptuous breath that pulled and exhaled in an animal and
grotesque cadence.

In the silence and the calm of the night, this Presence was enhanced vitiating the air of
menace; as if, invisible and powerful, a mortal Enemy who lurked me willing to precipitate over
me; to take my life and more than my life…

I had the impression to have fell into a misty precipice from I was rescued before
reaching the bottom. I was standing now at the edge of the Abyss, miraculously save, but victim
of that apprehension that is only experienced by who survives to the disaster. For this reason I
remained immovable and I didn’t flee from such ambient filled with an indescribable evil,
which seemed to come aggressively to me.

And that immovable, serene and reflexive, seemed to excite more the dramatic tension,
elevating it to unbearable levels.

I understood in that moment that what «the Matter irradiated» –whatever it is called–
was losing the capacity to act over me, due to, in middle of the unbearable tension, was divined
that all would explode, blow up in pieces through the air…

And it exploded.

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