Page 149 - A Woman Is No Man

not trying to judge you or anything. It’s just, all I can think of is Teta’s face.
Seedo beating you. Maybe even a knife at your throat. Our reputation
would’ve been ruined if people found out.”

“I know,” Sarah said quietly. “That’s why I ran. I was terrified what
would happen when everyone found out. I was scared of what my parents
would do.”
Deya said nothing. She couldn’t picture herself in Sarah’s shoes,
couldn’t imagine losing her virginity. She would never have the nerve to go
that far with a man, to disobey her grandparents so severely, but it wasn’t
just that. The act itself seemed far too intimate. She couldn’t imagine letting

anyone close enough to touch her skin, much less peel her clothes back,
touch her deep inside. She flushed.
“Is that why you don’t think you’re brave?” Deya asked. “Because you
didn’t have the courage to face your family after what you’d done? Because
you chose to run away instead?”
“Yes.” Sarah looked up to meet Deya’s eyes. “Even though I was afraid

for my life, I shouldn’t have run. I should’ve confronted my mother about
what I’d done. It’s not that I wasn’t strong enough to face my parents—I
was. Books were my armor. Everything I’d ever learned growing up, all my
thoughts, dreams, goals, experiences, it all came from the books I read. It
was like I went around collecting knowledge, plucking it from pages and
storing it up, waiting for a chance to use it. I could’ve stood up to my
parents, but I let fear control my decisions, and instead of facing them, I

ran. I was a coward.”
Deya didn’t quite agree with her aunt. She would’ve run away too had
she been in Sarah’s shoes. Staying after she’d committed such a sin would
have been unthinkable, unwise even—she would have risked getting killed.
Deya passed her aunt a comforting smile. In an attempt to lighten the
conversation, she said, “I never knew you loved to read so much. But I

guess it should’ve been obvious, seeing where you work and all.”
“You caught me,” Sarah said with a grin.
“Fareeda didn’t mind your books?”
“Oh, she did!” Sarah laughed. “But I hid them from her. Did you know
Isra loved to read, too? We used to read together.”
“Really? I remember she used to read to us all the time.”
Sarah smiled. “You remember that?”