Page 150 - A Woman Is No Man

“It’s one of the only good memories I have of her. Sometimes I think
that’s why I love to read so much.”
“You like to read, too?”

“There’s nothing else in the world I’d rather do.”
“Well, in that case, you’re more than welcome to any of these.” Sarah
gestured at the shelves piled high with books.
“Really?”
“Of course.”
“Thank you,” Deya said, feeling her cheeks burn. “You’re so lucky.”
“For what?”

“To have all these books. All these stories all around.”
“I am lucky,” Sarah said. “Books have always kept me company when I
felt most alone.”
“You sound like me.”
Sarah laughed. “Well, guess what?”
“What?”

“You’re not alone anymore.”
Deya curled into her seat, unsure of what to say. She knew she should
feel excited, connected even. But all she felt was fear, the need to retreat
inside herself. Why couldn’t she let her guard down? Why couldn’t she
believe that someone could actually care about her? She wasn’t sure of the
precise reason, but if her own family was willing to throw her away to the
first man who asked, then why should she expect more from anyone else?

She shouldn’t. She was only being safe, she reasoned. She was only
protecting herself.
“You know what’s strange?” Deya said after a moment.
“What’s that?”
“What are the odds that me, you, and my mother would all love to
read?”

“It’s not strange at all,” Sarah said. “It’s the loneliest people who love
books the most.”
“Is that why you loved reading? Because you were lonely?”
“Something like that.” Sarah looked toward the window. “Growing up
in that family was hard, being treated differently than my brothers because I
was a girl, waking up every morning knowing my future was limited.
Knowing I was so different from most of the other kids at school. It was

more than loneliness. Sometimes I think it was the opposite of loneliness,