Page 60 - Taming Your Gremlin A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way (Rick Carson)_Neat

choice, and in some instances it may be better to suffer these physical
sensations than to cry. To start sobbing at a time when the repercussions
would cause you pain or embarrassment wouldn’t do much to help you to

enjoy your life, now would it? Remember, the key here is to operate out of
choice, rather than out of habit. What you do with your sadness is for you to
decide; not once and for all, but on each occasion in which your sadness
emerges. There is, however, value in observing your habits for responding
to anger, joy, and sadness, because operating out of habit is what your
gremlin uses to lead you into a state of misery.

Anger and sadness emerge in a variety of situations. Often they
accompany the experience of loss. You can lose your wallet, the big game,

or a loved one. It’s sandpaper-rough when it’s the last one.

A loving soul is a loving soul, whether it’s housed in a predominantly
hairless body with two arms and two legs, or in one with four legs and fur.
If you’ve had a loving relationship with another soul and that soul makes
his or her leap to the other side, you’ll have some healing to do. If someone
you love dies, mourn. Don’t be shy about crying or reticent to sing his or
her praises. Actively warm yourself with good memories, cringe at bad

ones, and curse at regrets. Strong emotions after a loss are natural. Give
yourself the time and space to experience them fully. Express your feelings
verbally and in writing. Review the past, but don’t try to redo it. Do so with
a clear intention to heal yourself. This may take days or weeks.

The true love that is the essence of the natural you will heal your pain if
you allow it to do so, but it requires spending time with your emotions—
feeling them, experiencing them. Trust the process and eventually you will
arrive at a point of choice regarding your behaviors when your emotions

surface. In some circumstances you may choose to dive into them. At other
times you may choose to simply notice them, take a breath or two, and
gently and respectfully lay them aside for the time being. Notice the
experience of choice and of choosing. Then, with conscious self-respect,
self-love, and a clear intention to feel good, experiment with reducing time

spent in mourning and increasing time spent enjoying the here and now and
in creating a fulfilling future for yourself and the living loves of your life.