Page 605 - the-idiot

VII

HAD a small pocket pistol. I had procured it while still
‘I a boy, at that droll age when the stories of duels and
highwaymen begin to delight one, and when one imagines
oneself nobly standing fire at some future day, in a duel.
‘There were a couple of old bullets in the bag which con-
tained the pistol, and powder enough in an old flask for two
or three charges.
‘The pistol was a wretched thing, very crooked and
wouldn’t carry farther than fifteen paces at the most. How-
ever, it would send your skull flying well enough if you
pressed the muzzle of it against your temple.
‘I determined to die at Pavlofsk at sunrise, in the park—
so as to make no commotion in the house.
‘This ‘explanation’ will make the matter clear enough
to the police. Students of psychology, and anyone else who
likes, may make what they please of it. I should not like this
paper, however, to be made public. I request the prince to
keep a copy himself, and to give a copy to Aglaya Ivanov-
na Epanchin. This is my last will and testament. As for my
skeleton, I bequeath it to the Medical Academy for the ben-
efit of science.
‘I recognize no jurisdiction over myself, and I know that
I am now beyond the power of laws and judges.
‘A little while ago a very amusing idea struck me. What if

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