Page 606 - the-idiot

I were now to commit some terrible crime—murder ten fel-
low-creatures, for instance, or anything else that is thought
most shocking and dreadful in this world—what a dilem-
ma my judges would be in, with a criminal who only has
a fortnight to live in any case, now that the rack and other
forms of torture are abolished! Why, I should die comfort-
ably in their own hospital—in a warm, clean room, with an
attentive doctor—probably much more comfortably than I
should at home.
‘I don’t understand why people in my position do not of-
tener indulge in such ideas—if only for a joke! Perhaps they
do! Who knows! There are plenty of merry souls among
us!
‘But though I do not recognize any jurisdiction over my-
self, still I know that I shall be judged, when I am nothing
but a voiceless lump of clay; therefore I do not wish to go be-
fore I have left a word of reply—the reply of a free man—not
one forced to justify himself—oh no! I have no need to ask
forgiveness of anyone. I wish to say a word merely because I
happen to desire it of my own free will.
‘Here, in the first place, comes a strange thought!
‘Who, in the name of what Law, would think of disput-
ing my full personal right over the fortnight of life left to
me? What jurisdiction can be brought to bear upon the
case? Who would wish me, not only to be sentenced, but to
endure the sentence to the end? Surely there exists no man
who would wish such a thing—why should anyone desire
it? For the sake of morality? Well, I can understand that if
I were to make an attempt upon my own life while in the

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