Page 17 - Megan Reichman

"Power of Friendship"

with Carol LeBeau

“You’ve Got a Friend.” I’ve always loved the song made popu- I ask you… can it give you a hug?
lar by both Carole King and James Taylor. I knew the lyrics by
heart. But until I hit a few snags in my life, I never realized the Frankly, I got tired of my own company. So over the years I’ve
power behind those words. let a few people into my world. Now I have this tiny network of
family and friends who really know and care about me….as I do
As a kid, friends were everything. Diane was my childhood them.
confidante and Barbie doll buddy. In junior high, Mary Beth
and I were inseparable. But once I hit high school and found We’re quick to take care of our physical health, mental and
boys… best friends were only necessary when I was between emotional health…even our spiritual health. What about our
boyfriends! By the time I was halfway through college, I’d relational health? We all have our public “faces” to get by…but
become a bonafide loner. Excessive class loads, three part there are times when we need to get past the superficial and
time jobs and swim team practice left little time for more than share what’s really important. That’s what friends are for.
peripheral relationships.
For me, last year was a mish-mash of life events…some not
I came of age at the height of the women’s movement…an so good. But I was never alone. My friends carried me through
exciting time of new opportunities and challenges for women. major surgery, career transition and a bout of the “blues.” I
Who had time for friends? All my energy went into my budding don’t know what the year ahead has in store. But with Julie's
tv news career. I didn’t need a bunch of emotional attachments help, Susan’s encouragement, Rene’s love and Vicki’s sup-
getting in the way of my plans. port…I know I can face it.

As I remained isolated in my busy life…with no support….I got “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man
tired. I got sick. And then I got smart. I slowly figured out that who has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:10
my “plans” had become my best friend! But my plans never
gave me a hug…never called to see how I was doing when
I was down…never encouraged me when the black clouds
moved in and the depression enveloped me. It was then I San Diego
discovered the importance of friendship. And I’m glad I did! I Woman
was tired of going it alone!

Besides, that kind of isolation violates basic human nature. In
the end, loneliness will win out… affecting emotional as well 17
as physical health. Dr. Dean Ornish, the grand “poo-bah” of
preventive medicine says connections with other people affect
not only the quality of our lives…but also our survival. “People
who feel lonely,” says Dr. Ornish, are many more times more
likely to get cardiovascular disease than those who have a
strong sense of connection and community.”

And that goes for everyone. Oprah Winfrey is one of the
most powerful celebrities of our time. Yet she admits career
success does not meet the deepest needs of her life. She
speaks openly and fondly about her lifelong friend, Gayle.
Oprah admits, “I’ve never had a day’s therapy, but I’ve always
had my night conversations with Gayle.”

We need one another! We’ve heard so much about “pet
therapy” in recent years. Well, it’s true for people too! Just
the touch or presence of another can calm us and help lower
our blood pressure during stressful times.

Sadly, our culture doesn’t encourage the building of close
friendships and intimacy. Today’s highly mobile society means
more of us are living alone. Technology isolates us even
more….and is not a replacement for connections with real
people. Can you have a “heart-to-heart” with your Blackberry?
How ‘bout your new iPad? It may have just the right “app,” but
September/October 2010