Page 148 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 with next section introductions-compressed

However, if you are emotionally responsible, you will feel and respond entirely differently. The first thing you would do is to tell yourself that another person's
anger has nothing to do with you. Perhaps that person is having a bad day and is taking it out on you. Perhaps that person is feeling hurt or inadequate and is
trying to feel better at your expense.

Whatever the reason for the other persons’ anger, it is about them not about you. An emotionally responsible person does not take other peoples’ behaviour
personally, knowing that they have no control over their feelings and behaviour.

The next thing an emotionally responsible person will do is find compassion for the angry person and be open to learning about what is going on with them.
You might say, "I don't like your anger, but I am willing to understand what is upsetting you. Do you want to talk about it?" If the person continues to express
anger, or if you know this person is not going to open up to you, then as an emotionally responsible person, you should take loving action for your own sake.
You might say, "I'm not prepared to be the target of your anger. When you are ready to be open with me, call me. Meanwhile, I'm going to leave you to
yourself.”

An emotionally responsible person will give the other person the space and time they need rather than trying to change them or persuade them they’re wrong.

Once away from the angry person, the emotionally responsible person explores any painful feelings that might have resulted from the episode. Perhaps you are
feeling vulnerable or rejected. An emotionally responsible person embraces the feelings of vulnerability and rejection with understanding and self-compassion.
When you acknowledge and embrace the feelings of vulnerability and rejection, you allow them to move through you quickly, so you can move back into
peace.

You are no longer at the mercy of anyone else’s behaviour, having taken emotional responsibility for yourself. Instead of staying trapped feeling angry, hurt,
blaming, afraid, anxious or inadequate, you have moved yourself back into feeling safe and peaceful.

When you realise that your feelings and emotions are your responsibility, you can move out of emotional dependency. This will make a huge difference
within you and the happiness you experience with all of your relationships. Relationships thrive when each person moves out of emotional dependency
and into emotional responsibility.

Page148