Page 266 - The Truth Landscape Format 2020 with next section introductions-compressed

Appreciation shouldn’t turn you into a “Yes dear, whatever you say” robot. It doesn’t mean you always agree with them. Balanced appreciation of yourself
and the other person means that in any given circumstance, you take into careful consideration both your partners and your own valuable self, desires and
preferences. Neither person should be short changed.

Appreciation puts you in charge of your feelings

Sometimes in a relationship, you feel like a victim of love, always at the mercy of your partner’s moods or emotions. If he’s nice, you feel good; if she’s nasty,
you feel bad. When this happens, you are emotionally reactive to your partner, instead of maintaining your personal emotional integrity. Appreciation can help
you keep your good feelings going regardless of your partners current emotional state.

If your partner is in a bad mood for example, simply let him go through it. Keep on an emotional even keel by reminding yourself of all that you value about
him, about the relationship and about yourself. Switch your focus to whatever does make you feel good and appreciate that good feeling so as to strengthen
and renew your own vibration of appreciation. Since you’re not feeding your partners bad mood vibrationally by feeling bad because of it, his bad mood
vibration can dissipate more readily.

As tempting as it may be to moan and groan and feel sorry for yourself when he/she is being less than his wonderful self, it is vibrational suicide. Your self
pitying complaining will feed his mood and the vibration generated will be all about negativity, inevitably attracting more negative results. Diffuse the power
of his/her negative vibration by ignoring it, and maintaining your own appreciative stance.

It is not always easy but it is always rewarding. Using appreciation as your primary focus does not mean you should ignore serious problems. If their version
of a bad mood is to wreck things or be violent, or become abusive, appreciation of yourself means that you take immediate charge of your well being. Leave
if you have to, don’t subject yourself to dangerous behaviour. Even in extreme circumstances you don’t have to let their inappropriate behaviour dismantle
your vibration of appreciation. Instead, focus your appreciation on yourself, your well-being and the steps you take to care for yourself.

Expressing more appreciation

In order to build more satisfying relationships with the people around you, express more appreciation, delight, affirmation, encouragement and gratitude.

Because life continually requires us to attend to problems and breakdowns, it gets very easy to see in life only what is broken and needs fixing. But satisfying
relationships (and a happy life) require us to notice and respond to what is delightful, excellent, enjoyable, to work well done, to food well cooked, etc.

It is appreciation that makes a relationship strong enough to accommodate differences and disagreements. Thinkers and researchers in many different fields
have reached similar conclusions. Healthy relationships need a core of mutual appreciation. Page266