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is always a phenomenon of relationships, phenomenon is what we are experiencing
which requires two people in so far as all the time, and it is especially important
the person fascinated necessarily has that we understand what is happening
a corresponding disposition. But the when it comes to the mating experience.
disposition must be unconscious or no
fascination will take place. The fascination When we get to about forty, we
is a compulsive phenomenon in the sense realize that this same kind of person
that it lacks a conscious motive; it is not keeps magically appearing as if it is a
a process of will, but something that rises coincidence. It is not. As we mature
up from the unconscious and forcibly and gain insight into our behavior,
obtrudes itself upon the conscious mind. we come to the realization that this
—Carl Jung, Two Essays in Analytical pattern has happened before. What we
Psychology, paragraph 136 always experience is our own energy
through the other. If we are doing
Just as with the shadow, We can be introspective work to
this fascination can also be simultaneously become conscious, which
experienced as repulsion. is the goal of what Carl
We can be simultaneously attracted and Jung called ‘individuation,’
attracted and repulsed by repulsed by the very we begin to ask questions.
the very same person if same person What is this about? Why
they say or do something is this repeating? When I
we don’t like. Our partners can annoy first learned about this information, I
us, and it’s usually out of proportion thought to myself, “this is so valuable
to what they actually did, because they and enlightening, everyone should
are carrying a projected shadow part know it.”
of us. Notice also, that in the movies
like The Titanic and Romeo and Juliet, When we’re falling in love, we’re actually
a death occurs. This too, is symbolic, putting part of our soul (our own inner
as we have to go through the death or beloved) on that person. They can carry
removal of our projections. it for us for a time, but if anybody has
been married before, or in and out of
Most of us have heard the term relationships, we know that eventually
projection by now, but what people do the projections onto our beloved are
not realize is that we are not the ones going to fall off. We will no longer be
who is projecting. It is not something able to believe that this is a magical and
that we do of our own volition. It is our perfect being as their shadow and our
unconscious that projects itself out onto shadow will become glaringly obvious to
the other person. This psychological both of us.
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