Page 112 - Tzurba M'Rabanan Volume1

110 · Hilchot Chukot Hagoyim Tzurba M’Rabanan

p Sefer Me’olam Ve’ad Olam (by Rav Gavriel טס:ז | םלוע דעו םלועמ . 38
Goldman of Kfar Adumim), 7:69 תיתכלה תוגייתסה שי הליחתכל םנמא
Although there is some reticence to the custom of placing flowers תוחמל ןיא ךא ,רבקה לע םיחרפ תחנהמ
ab initio, nevertheless one should not rebuke those who do so.* םידגנתמש םיקסופ שי *.ןכ םיגהונה דיב
Some poskim are against the practice due to the prohibition of הארנ ךא ,"םייוגה תוקוח" םושמ ךכל
chukot hagoyim, but it seems that according to the strict letter of the וב שיש רבד קרש ןוויכ ,רתומ ןידה רקיעמש
law it would be permitted. This is because only something that is םעט ול ןיאש רבד וא תועינצה ירדג תצירפ
connected to licentious behavior or has no logical reason for it is a ןוויכו ”.םייוגה תוקוח" םושמ רסאנ ,ללכ
problem, yet here placing the flowers gives honor to the deceased, םיתמה דובכ יכרדמ איה םיחרפ תחנהש
so it would not be included in the category of chukot hagoyim.
”.םייוגה תוקוח" םושמ רוסיא הזב ןיא –
[This is true] especially since there is an ancient tradition םודק גהנמ היהש ןוויכ ,רוסאל ןיא דוחייב
mentioned in the Gemara and poskim about placing myrtles on םיסדה חינהל ,םיקסופבו ארמגב רכזוהש
the grave.
.תמה תטימ לע
* Comment of Rav Avigdor Nebenzahl: Ashkenazim are stringent
not to place any flowers on a grave. 14 םיזנכשאה :א"טילש לצנבנ ברה תרעה*
.חינהל אל םידיפקמ

According to both of these sources, practices of mourning stemming from non‑Jewish practices, such as those
related to clothing or placing objects on the grave, are generally permitted, as they are logical. However,
both sources indicate that it is preferable to maintain the more traditionally accepted customs of mourning if
possible (e.g., by placing a stone on the grave, which is based on Jewish sources, instead of a flower).

14. See Responsa Minchat Elazar (4:61) who offers a number of reasons why one should not adopt this custom. [Addition of the editors of the
English edition]

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