Page 304 - Quranic Wisdom - New.indd

Between Rational Choice and Emotional Choice

mind this practical criterion will ensure that his or her married
life is a success. Those who fail to follow this criterion take the
risk of turning their marriage into a problem marriage.

The Quranic criterion in this regard is: Don’t follow your
desires, follow your reason. Those who are governed by their
desire only see the appearance, or take things at face-value. But,
being governed by reason makes one reach the depth of the
matter. Reason follows reality and decides by seeing the future
rather than the present. Due to this difference, an emotional
judgement creates problems, while a rational judgement always
leads to success.

Making an emotional choice in marriage may give
one temporary pleasure, but in the long run it is
bound to turn into a life of problems. While, a
rational choice in this regard may seem to be a
hard choice in the beginning, however in the long run
it will certainly result in a good life for both the
partners.

For example, if at the time of marriage one sees only the
appearance and chooses a smart spouse, then this is not a
simple matter. A smart choice will bring with it a total culture—a
culture of entertainment, shopping, and fashionable living.
This choice causes a shift of focus, that is, giving importance
to superficial activities such as excessive expenditure on material
items, engaging in entertainment and dissipation, and leading
a fashionable lifestyle. In contrast to this, if your choice is
based on the merits of the individual, the focus at home will be
quite different. Importance will be given to serious discussion,
intellectual development, simple living, right use of money and
energy and concentrating on deeper aspects of things rather than
on their superficial aspects. The difference between these two

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