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and seeking guidance from Christian Understanding forgiveness is crucial. you're forgiving and how the hurt
mentors, whether within the church It's about pardoning someone for their has affected you. Instead of simply
community or professional counseling, wrongdoing, rooted in mercy and forgiving and forgetting, offer guidance
can provide the strength needed to grace. It means letting go of on how your spouse can better care
resist temptation and strengthen your resentment and the desire for revenge, for your heart in the future. This approach
relationship for the days ahead. not necessarily forgetting the offense, fosters growth and strengthens the
but choosing to extend love and relationship beyond mere forgiveness.
Dr. Rienow introduces an exercise compassion instead of holding it
known as "Above the Ground / Below against them. Eph 4:32 " Every day, we must actively strive for
the Ground." "Above the ground" unity with our spouse, prioritizing
refers to the surface-level issue being A 4-Step Conversation in harmony over victory in our
discussed, such as finances, in-laws, or biblically apologizing: disagreements. Just as God has the
children. "Below the ground" power to liberate us from sin, we
represents the underlying emotions 1. Confession: Keep it simple and can opt to create a nurturing environment
direct. Admit what you did wrong where conflicts are resolved, wounds
intensifying the conversation. When
without sugarcoating or making are healed, and new beginnings are
you sense that the issue is straining
excuses. embraced.
your relationship, take a pause from
discussing the topic and instead, offer
each other your heartfelt emotions. Couples’s Prayer:
We acknowledge Your perfect love,

Consider the following strategies to which transcends our faults and
cultivate unity amidst conflict: frees us from fear and judgment.
Help us embody this love in our
2. Acknowledge you were wrong:
╫ Take a timeout to process your marriage, creating a safe space
After confessing, acknowledge that without resentment or judgment.
emotions before addressing the you were wrong. This is a powerful
Issue. statement when spoken sincerely. Bind us together in Your love,
Pray for guidance and wisdom. “ granting us the ability to live openly
Seek resolution when your return before each other and You. May
3. Express Regret: Go beyond a simple Your love guide us to extend
to the conversation.
and express genuine compassion and gentleness to one
╫ Take ownership of your role in remorse.Acknowledgehowyouractions another.
the conflict. affected your spouse and express
Focus on the person inside the regret for the pain caused. We are grateful for Your patience
“I and kindness, even in our failings.
circle.
Teach us to forgive as You have
Psalm 139:2 Lord, search my heart
forgiven us, letting go of
╫ Intentionally pursue oneness
resentment. Grant us grace to
Practice patience and humility. extend forgiveness and

Foster empathy by listening encouragement, reflecting Your
4. Ask f or Forgiveness: Request compassion and humility.
attentively to each other’s
forgiveness from your spouse,
perspectives.
acknowledging that it's their choice
Strengthen your bond by praying to grant it. This step is essential for In Your name, we pray for
continued guidance and strength in
together (Romans 8:6) healing and reconciliation.
our marriage journey. Amen.

Our culture and the suitcase of
expectations that we bring into
marriage has incorrectly provided us When granting forgiveness to your
spouse, it's crucial to understand what

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