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Advice to Past Me:

An Alumnus' Story

by Judah Lazar Gross

Speak up and advocate for yourself.
Before I came to SINAI I was very self-conscious, and I would either
shrink into myself or get angry if things were not going the way I
wanted. Over time I learned how to speak up when I wanted
something, whether it was more time to work on an assignment, or
for a friend to give me some personal space. As it turns out, other
people can’t read your mind and they don’t always know what you
want, so your best strategy is to ask for it. Oh, and know in advance
that you won’t always get your way, so don’t get upset if that happens.
Listen to what other people have to say, even if you don’t agree
with them.

Judah with one of his favorite SINAI teachers, Ed Gandler Other people know things that you don’t. Even if you disagree, you
need to understand other points of view. And you really can learn
I have a lot of advice for Past Me, but if we’re playing the time-travel something from everyone.
game, I’m going to be practical: invest in Zoom. Go to Notre Dame
before the gargoyles are all gone. Don’t go so fast on your bike down You can be a role model.
the hill on Booth Avenue. Plan more zoo trips before March 2020. In high school, I became a Youth Leader in shul. I always hated
So really these words of wisdom are not for Past Me, but for any kid traditional groups, so I established myself as the group leader for the
who has learning disabilities, special needs, or anything that makes Oddball Group. Instead of davening as loud as we could and playing
him or her feel different. I have my teachers at SINAI to thank for Seven-Up, in my group we davened quietly and at our own pace, and
teaching me these lessons. I didn’t even realize they were teaching then talked about science fiction, Lord of the Rings, built Legos, or
me this stuff at the time, but here I am today. just read quietly in our own corners. I think I showed the kids in my
group that it was ok to be different, and truthfully I really enjoyed
So here goes: spending time with them.

Don’t Feel Ashamed.
It turns out that everybody is different in some way. Some people
need a wheelchair or crutches because their legs don’t work. Some
people need medication to help them breathe or keep their blood
pressure under control. And some people need material broken
down for them and taught in a different way, so that they can
understand it. It’s nothing to feel bad about. Acknowledge your
challenge, embrace it, own it.
Ask for help when you need it, and ask questions when you don’t
understand.
Recognize what you can and can’t do, and know when to ask for help.
When I was younger, if something was too hard for me I just shut
down and couldn’t move forward at all. My teachers at SINAI
encouraged me to ask questions, and gave me the words I needed to
ask for help. I still draw on that today. Don’t be ashamed to ask The author as a young boy at SINAI
questions. Asking questions shows that you’re paying attention and
being smart. If you have a question you’re probably not the only one. I am who I am today because of my experiences at SINAI. My teachers
Try…and then try harder. along the way all believed in me, and that helped me to believe in
myself. I still keep in touch with a lot of them, and I know that I can
Things are not going to just come to you. Having a disability means turn to any of them today if I need advice.
you have to work even harder than other people around you who
don’t have any challenges. You might put in a lot of effort and still not
get the final result you were going for. But when you do, it’ll be worth Judah Lazar Gross grew up in Englewood, NJ, transferred to SINAI at RYNJ in 5th
it. You’ll have accomplished something that you thought you couldn’t grade, and graduated from SINAI’s Maor High School at RKYHS, class of 2019. He is a
do. And never underestimate yourself. Understand that you have sophomore at Rutgers University studying Evolutionary Anthropology and Animal
limits, but you also have strengths. Sciences.