Page 37 - ALIVE CODE

DARE TO BE A.L.I.V.E. - DON’T BE A D.A.S.H.

People often think of their goals in these terms:

Wanting more of something.
Wanting less of something.
Wanting to complete something.

Remember how you described your emotional problem and the Activating
Event that goes with it. Identify your Goal by completing one or more of the
following sentences:

I want more of (Example: “Good job offers”)

I want less of (Example: “Rejections.”)

I want to complete or nish.... (Example: Finding a real good job.)

Most people mistakenly assume that the Activating Event (A) causes their
Beliefs (B) and feelings (C). Actually, it is usually your thoughts, self-talk, and
beliefs that create your feelings. Knowing this gives you some responsibility

for and control over your feelings.

You are responsible but not to be blamed for your feelings. Blaming involves
downing or negative self-evaluation; responsibility does not. Responsibility
involves admitting self-defeating behaviors, thoughts, or feelings, without
putting yourself down for having them.

Apply this rule to your daily life: “Activating Events do not cause my feelings;
my Beliefs about them largely do.” Remind yourself that you have a choice
about how you feel because you have a choice about the way you think or
your attitude (B) toward unfortunate Activating Events.

It may appear that the Activating Event (described by you above) blocks you
from your goal, causing you to be upset. This is just not so. One proof of this
is that others in similar situations feel, think, and act differently, and do not
upset themselves, even when faced with a similar Adversity.

ALIVE CODE
Page 36