Page 19 - Family Life Student Textbook

2. Cleave to one another

The second command in this foundational passage is to cleave to one
another. The bond between a parent and child is a product of physical
birth and parenting. But marital cleaving is a constant activity. While the
bond with our parents came naturally, we will have to work at
continually strengthening the bond with our mate.

The word “cleave” describes layers of wood laminated together to
create one new inseparable piece of wood. To try to tear the layers of
laminated board apart is impossible and can only result in destroying
the piece of wood.

We will learn how to cleave to each other by seeing how we are to
cleave to God.

Deuteronomy 10:20 “Fear the LORD your God and serve him. Hold fast to him and take your
oaths in his name.”

Deuteronomy 30:20 “and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold
fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he
swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”

This active verb demands a continuing process (not a onetime act). Cleaving necessitates an unswerving
loyalty. Cleaving necessitates an active and pursuing love that will not let go. It is an unconditional love. In
order to improve our ability to cleave to one another we must test our attitudes, words and actions by
asking “Will this draw us closer to each other or drive us apart? Will it build our relationship or tear it down?
Will it bring about a positive response or a negative response? Does it express my love and loyalty to my
partner, or does it reveal my self-centered individualism?”

In everything we do we want to increase the bond with our mate, knowing that we are commanded to build
a new family unit which cannot be torn apart. Before marriage, cleaving to this person we love seems
natural. But as we will learn in the next lesson, our selfishness, our differences, and the satanic forces will
work hard to hinder this new bond. This is something we will need to work on every day.

3. Become one flesh:

The third command, in this foundational passage on marriage, is to become one flesh.

This obviously does include the physical aspect of marriage. The Jewish couple, betrothed to one another,
looked forward to their wedding night when they could consummate their marriage physically. And sex is a
special gift God gave us and is a very important part of marriage. We will discuss this important subject in
more detail in a later lesson.

But is this all that is involved in this command to become one flesh? I think not. Becoming one flesh is
emotional and spiritual intimacy which climaxes in physical intimacy.

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