Page 24 - Family Life Student Textbook

In these verses God cursed Satan. He also told Eve that there would be enmity between her and Satan. He
told her that her desire would be for her husband but that her husband would rule over her. In a later lesson
we will look at what this means in a more detailed way.

Because of sin, the first murder happened. There was the death and loss of a child. Sin continues to hinder
family life and marriage today. Selfishness, fear of transparency, lack of acceptance and unconditional love,
sexual abuse, pornography, adultery, and sexual deviancy are just a few of the ways that sin destroys our
families.

Satan uses various ways to destroy our oneness.

1. Difficult adjustments in marriage can destroy our oneness.

Satan does his best to make adjustments difficult in marriage in order to destroy our
oneness. A man and woman come into marriage with different backgrounds,
different family experiences, and sometimes different values. We face challenges in
our economy and in our society. Our morality, the roles of husband and wife,
parenting our children, religious life and the media all has its effect on us. Even our
education and differences in how we spend our spare time can be difficult. We
question whether the wife should work outside the home, and on and on it goes.

Our contrasting backgrounds also bring about painful adjustments for couples in
areas such as values, religion, finances, and so on.

Sometimes we marry with superficial motivations such as sexual attraction, cultural
pressures and convenience. These superficial motivations will require painful
adjustments.

We come into marriage with differing expectations. We view our roles as husband and wife differently and
we even differ on how to express love to one another. These differing expectations result in unexpected
adjustments.

For instance, we may be used to expressing love to another person in a way that does not communicate love
to them. Some people value time spent with them and this makes them feel loved. Some people want to be
touched while others value receiving gifts. Sometimes words of affirmation is what communicates love to
our spouse. Others feel loved only when the other person serves them. This is often referred to as a
person’s “love language”.

If my mate has a different love language than I do, he or she may not appreciate how I communicate love to
them. While I am doing my best to show love, they are waiting for me to show love in a different way. This
causes them to feel unloved.
2. Couples entering marriage often are equipped only with the world’s plan for a 50-50 performance-based
relationship. The world’s plan will cause their oneness to be threatened.

In the world’s plan, acceptance is based upon performance. You do your part, and I’ll do mine. Giving is
based upon whether they deserve it. Affection is given only when one feels it is deserved. The motivation for
action is based upon how one feels at the time. The problem is that we are all unable to meet the
expectations of our spouse. It is impossible for us to know whether my spouse has done her part. We
naturally tend to focus on the weakness of our spouse rather than their strengths.

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