Page 78 - Family Life Student Textbook

A wise husband will come to understand these differences. And both partners need to learn
about their spouse’s needs and sacrificially act to meet them. We dare not assume that the
needs of our mate are the same as our needs. Therefore, we need to focus not upon our needs,
but upon the needs of our mate in order to have a fulfilling sexual relationship.

A blockage in our emotional life do to past traumatic events can limit our sexual fulfillment. Our
sexual identity is established during early childhood development. When this sexual identity is
confused by reversed parental roles, or by sexual abuse, this sexual identity can be warped into
something that God did not intend.

Present resentment can also inhibit our sexual responsiveness. Our sexual relationship is often a
realistic barometer of our marriage relationship. If our sex life is not enjoyable, it is most likely
caused by resentment in our relationship. Maybe there is tension from unresolved conflicts, and
until we resolve those conflicts our sexual relationship will suffer.

We have already discussed how pornography negatively affects our marriage. As believers, we
need to watch all areas of our life so as not to cause dissatisfaction with our mate. We need to be careful
what movies we watch and what books we read as everything we do has consequences.

3) Sex is affected by our body.

Fatigue, illness, and pregnancy can affect our ability to enjoy a physical relationship. Communicating about
these issues will help you as a couple to better understand each other.

The wife needs to be prepared to desire and enjoy sex. She needs to be prepared emotionally and feel that
all conflict has been resolved in her relationship with her husband. Then, her body needs to be prepared
through romantic and physical stimulation. This helps her to prepare to enjoy this intimate communication.

Poor physical hygiene negatively affects sex. Body odor, bad breath and lack of cleanliness, can reduce our
partner’s desire to share this physically intimate union with us.

A husband and wife need to learn to communicate about their own sexual needs, preferences and
enjoyment.

Many people feel embarrassed and uncomfortable communicating verbally with their mate about sex. But
honest and open communication is very important to help us understand what feels good and fulfills our
mate. Pray together about this important issue. Yes, God cares and wants to help you in this important area
of your marriage.

Husbands need to learn how to be good lovers.

God has designed husbands to be the initiators in the marriage relationship and wives to be the responders.
That is why it's so important that husbands need to learn how to be good lovers.

Song of Solomon 7:10 “I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.”

Polygamy is always viewed negatively in the Bible. And the biblical descriptions of polygamous relationships
are filled with envy and strife. Unfaithfulness of any kind sabotages the exclusive unity and intimacy
necessary to make a marriage work.

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