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Clearly, listening is critical to good communication, but most of us focus on
working on the other verbal communication competencies to become more
proficient in them. Benjamin Disraeli was undoubtedly right when he
observed, talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours. The other

party in the conversation will think you are a remarkable conversationalist.
Furthermore, listening increases likeability, and likeability leads back to
trust in you as a leader.

As important as listening is in our communication, it is amazing how little

we practice it. As was pointed in an earlier chapter, we spend most of our
waking hours communicating, which involves reading, writing, speaking,
non-verbal communication, and listening. In school we learned to read
and write, and possibly even how to speak more effectively. However,
how much time was spent in learning to listen, so that you really
understand what another person is saying from their perspective or frame
of reference? Typically, we seek first to be understood, which means that

we don’t listen as much as we need to with the intent to understand.

In effective listening, it is critical to find out what the most important
behaviors you as a leader can demonstrate to the people you’re working
with. Don’t assume you know what matters most to others, and don’t

presume you have all the answers, or even all the questions.

Nothing beats personal, two-way communication for fostering cooperation
and teamwork and for building an attitude of trust and understanding
among employees. Bill Packard, Co-Founder, Hewlett Packard.

We’ve all heard the criticism, ‘He talks too much.’ When was the last time
you heard someone criticized for listening too much? Norm Augustine,
Former CEO, Lockheed Martin.

Clearly, effective listening is a communication approach that reflects a
positive attitude and that facilitates collaboration. Some of the key
communication skills that lead to increased competency in this area will be
covered in the next chapter dealing with leadership skills.

Unfortunately, despite every effort we might make to communicate more

effectively, the truth of the matter is that we can only influence, but not
control, how we communicate. Ultimately, our audience decides what we

David Kolzow 102