Page 12 - self portrait

my church, my faith

I'm Catholic. It is an important part of me. A part that I accepted rather
unquestioningly for the first eighteen years of my life. There are stances that I have

always disagreed with, and I have taken issue with the Church as an institution before,
but I never doubted my own faith. Until this year.

Something about this year made my home church absolutely volatile and nearly
untenable. People have felt enabled to share the hateful views I realize they've always

held, but now there's a newfound empowerment to vocalize them. My deacon gave a
sermon that Catholics have the responsibility to publicly condemn queer people and

are actually brave when they do so. My church handed out a flyer saying that gay
people would be the downfall of civilization. My fellow churchgoers have been flagrant
with their contempt for the queer community on our social media forum.

This anger, hostility, and rejection can truly test your faith. It's hard to reconcile that

these are the people with whom I share my beliefs, yet they don't believe in my right
to existence.

I used to find so much joy and comfort in my spirituality. I don't want to give these

people the power to take something that I once held so dear away from me. But
sometimes, it is hard to find the inner strength to persist.

There is one Bible verse, though, that I repeat to myself frequently, one that gives me a
tiny glimmer of hope:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female,

for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Galatians 3:28

I'm not sure where I stand with my faith right now. But sometimes, I think the
knowledge that there is no male and female, and that we are one in the Lord, just

might be enough to keep me going.

S E L F P O R T R A I T | 1 1