Page 14 - self portrait

pink gown and flower crown
S E L F P O R T R A I T
I have a bunch of pictures hanging on the
wall of my dorm room, including many from
high school when I looked a lot different
than I do now. One of them is me and my
friends headed off to my junior prom. I wore
a floor-length pink gown, and my long hair
was styled in an updo, adorned with a flower
crown.
I felt incredible. I loved that dress, and I
loved that flower crown.
I’ve started dressing differently when I go to
formal events now. I wear more suits. I still
feel great when I get dressed up, but I feel
more compelled to distance myself from
femininity. I feel like androgyny is what I
need to achieve for my identity to be taken
seriously by others. I try to “prove” I actually
am who I say I am.
My friend was in my dorm room one night.
As we were sitting on my bed, he started
looking at the photos. He noticed the one
from prom, the one of me wearing the pink
gown. He looked at it and said, “That’s not
you!”
And that stung.
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