Page 10 - self portrait

a non-label

I know people feel differently about using labels to describe themselves. They can seem

reductive. How could one word ever express the essence of who you are? On the other
hand, how else can you tell the world who you are?

When I came out, I asked my friends to use they/them pronouns for me. But it would

still be a while until I started using a label for myself. The thing was, I wasn’t sure
exactly who I was. To be honest, I’m still not completely sure.

I read through long lists describing different gender identities, trying to figure out how
I felt. I was still very new to navigating my personal relationship with gender, and I was

really nervous I'd pick the wrong one.

And then I used the label nonbinary.

I realized it fit me. It’s not a descriptor of what I am, but rather a descriptor of what I
am not. Truly more of a non-label. I didn’t have to totally figure out my complex,

particular relationship with gender before I could start calling myself nonbinary.

I like using my non-label. I like having a way to express how I see myself to others that

remains constant, even though my personal relationship with gender is ever-evolving.
It has also helped me connect with other people like me, with whom I can explore the

intricacies of my identity.

Maybe I’ll never find a label to encapsulate my specific identity. But it feels good to say

“Hey world, I’m nonbinary!”

S E L F P O R T R A I T | 9