Page 276 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

“So … so what? Not everyone we’ve hired speaks French!
And they’re all Canadians, so they all speak English!” I am
really irritated now.
“Look Kelita, this tour is different.” He finally makes eye
contact. “We’re going in with a small group to a country with
an actual war going on. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to
go. Besides you should be here with Keldon. He needs you.”
The resolute tone of his voice is undeniable. The conversation
is over. Gord has made up his mind.
I remain cool and silent but inside I am fuming. I turn
for the door and head for our bedroom. I need space. I fall
back onto the bed, gutted. I wasn’t expecting this. Not at all. I
understand about staying home with Keldon, but we have left
him before. We have our good friends Joe and Ruth who we
know will help out. My gut is telling me that Gord’s concern
for our son’s wellbeing is not the primary reason for his decision
to leave me behind. I feel sick.
It is profoundly heart-wrenching to say good-bye to my
husband as we both go off to war. He is thousands of miles away
without any communication, travelling for hours over bumpy
dirt roads in the back of army vehicles, wearing bulletproof
protection and listening to the sounds of missiles firing at
night. I am on the home front, caring for a toddler every day,
spending all my nights alone and many hours down on my
knees, fighting for what is left of our collapsing marriage.
For me, Gord’s two weeks in Bosnia are the most agonizing
of our married life. With our relationship already dangling over
the precipice, this time apart could be fatal. With each passing
day my nerves become more frayed. I am alone with our boy
while my husband is conveniently on tour with another woman.
Yes, a female musician who, in recent months, has appeared
awfully chummy with a man who is not hers. My fears have

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