Page 275 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Five

Double Denial

Days turn into weeks as we continue to endure this relentlessly
unforgiving personal journey. However, life and music do carry
on. Thankfully, Gord and I have won the bid for the Canadian
National Defense Headquarters to produce an overseas show,
like the one we fell in love on. This time it’s for the Canadian
UN Peacekeepers serving in the Bosnian war. I’m excited.
Maybe this is the exact boost our marriage needs.
“You’re not going to be able to be in this one, Kelita.” Gord
doesn’t dare catch my eye. He just continues changing the
strings on his bass.
I am completely taken aback. “What do you mean – not be
in this one? Excuse me?”
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He remains calm and
detached.
“Not a good idea?” I walk over to the kitchen table and
stand right in front of him, my voice louder. “What are you
talking about?”
He does not look up. “There are lots of reasons, okay. Let’s
not make a big deal about this. I’ve made the decision.”
I do not budge. My voice turns to ice. “I am co-producing
and writing the show Gord, and now you’re telling me I can’t
be in it?”
Gord sighs as he sets his guitar back in the stand. He
still won’t look at me. “We’re performing for a regiment from
Quebec, so we need a bilingual cast and you don’t speak French,
so ...” He trails off.

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