Page 280 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

Keldon. After the boy is played with, fed, bathed and put to
bed there is no happy reunion for his parents. No romantic
candlelight dinner. No cuddling up on the couch. Not even any
catching up on the past two weeks here at home or in Bosnia.
Any talk is trite and trivial. Gord is cold and distant, perhaps
even more so than before he left. I have just spent fourteen of
the worst days of my life, alone, terrified and nearly going out
of my mind and his frostiness is a cruel icing on that bitter
cake.
I despise him and his dismissal of me as we crawl into
our loveless bed. I know he is jetlagged and can’t wait to fall
asleep, but don’t I deserve something? Anything? Can he not
even throw me a measly crumb of affection or attention? It is
painfully obvious he is not happy to be home.
He quickly nods off. I lie awake for hours. I can feel the
warmth of his body next to me and even though I can reach
right over and touch him, I feel more alone than ever. The
vision I had keeps haunting me. I can only hope we will talk in
the morning.
I am up early with Keldon while Gord continues to sleep.
My sweet boy is happily situated in the family room, watching
Barney, when Gord finally makes an appearance. The heaviness
surrounding him hangs dead in the middle of the room. Even
though I am on edge, I pray under my breath, God, help me. I
need to know what to do. What to say.
“Good morning,” I croak, forcing the words out of my
parched throat. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Yeah, not bad.” His voice is emotionless.
“Must feel good to be back in your own bed.” How trite can
I be? I hate this.
“Yes, always good.” He seems uncomfortable.
I need to hear something from him. He has to tell me what

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