Page 317 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Nine

Gord looks back up, his eyes clouded in fear. “Well, I never
told him that I was having an affair.” He squirms in his chair.
“So I guess it’s reasonable to say I was never really completely
honest with him.”
Ya think? I am trying to be non-judgmental but it is hard!
“Why do you think you weren’t able to tell him?” Chad
asks softly.
This time my husband does not miss a beat. “I was
embarrassed. I had a beautiful wife and son, everything going
for me. I was ashamed, I guess. I think I was going to see him
so I could somehow justify leaving Kelita.”
Ouch. That smarts!
“So, why did you want to leave Kelita?” Chad digs even
deeper.
Gord shakes his head. “When I met Kelita, I was a single
guy. No responsibilities for anyone but myself. After we got
married everything just happened so fast. Keldon came a year
later, we bought our first house and moved. I was just feeling
overwhelmed about everything. I felt a lot of pressure. Kelita
wasn’t working so I was the only one bringing anything in.”
Chad, with all his sensitivity and considerate nature, keeps
the tough questions coming. “Why the affair Gord? Did that
not complicate matters?”
Gord’s vulnerability is now emerging without hesitation.
“Yes, of course it did. But you see, before in my life, like
before Kelita, when things got too serious or stressful in my
relationship, I would just go find someone else. It was kind of
a pattern I guess.” He pauses, rubbing his hands on his jeans
before continuing. “I don’t think I was emotionally mature
enough to handle all this responsibility when before I had
hardly any. The easiest thing was to find a diversion. That was
my pattern, I see it now. I might have thought it was a valid

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