Page 321 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Nine

not throw anything back in Gord’s face pertaining to her. I
have to move forward. I don’t want to prolong the agony any
longer than is necessary. Forgiving Gord has come easy for me.
I know that might sound totally ludicrous, but it’s the truth. I
give credit to the power of God’s love and grace.
Forgiving Lenora is another story. With Gord, at least
I knew there was something unmistakably wrong. But with
her? We were close. She was my confidante. She knew how
heartbroken I was. I truly want to hate her. Forever. But I am
slowly learning to forgive. I won’t be her prisoner. I refuse to
be controlled by her betrayal. I know without a doubt the only
way forward is to recognize her pain and forgive her for playing
such a huge role in mine.
Gord and I continue the work of building a new foundation.
We’re learning about our individual modes of communication
and the necessity of keeping God at the centre of our marriage
and home. We read books about love languages and how best
to fulfil our partners’ needs and the practicalities of not being
able to fill them all.
After two months of therapy and hard work, it seems like
we should be getting out of the woods. I guess it’s just not that
simple. Even after making good progress, I am left wondering.
How can healing come when, at times, it feels like I am the only
one pushing this giant boulder up the mountain of heartache?
Gord just seems like he’s still not all here. Heck, I don’t know.
Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just not being patient enough.
He’s probably still struggling with losing her. Grieving over
such a huge loss. Dealing with his own heartache while trying
to mend mine. Maybe he’s having second thoughts and thinks
he’s made a big mistake? After all, it wasn’t just a one-night
stand, was it? Two whole years of a ‘relationship’ plus all the
years of friendship before the affair. Then there’s their musical

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