Page 334 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Reason To Sing

parents had arranged to meet for what would become the last
time. My stepfather told me my mother not only turned down
a birthday gift from Daddy but also requested a divorce. Oh,
my poor, fragile father. As troubled as he was, I do believe he
loved my mother very much and was desperately hoping they
would reconcile. But it was not meant to be. My mother was
allegedly adamant that, if he didn’t comply with her request,
she would expose him.
Back then homosexuality was still a criminal offense,
punishable under Canada’s criminal code with up to fourteen
years in prison. Ironically, this law would stay in effect until
1969, the very year Daddy died.
Mike’s story shook me to the core. I desperately tried
to substantiate it through conversations with other family
members. There were absolutely no clues from anyone, only
disbelief. Could my stepfather be lying? I honestly could not
see why. Could my redneck Texan stepfather even have thought
up such a story on his own? I don’t think so. Nor could I see any
motive on his part. Still, I was hoping for more positive proof.
A few years ago, I came across an old black and white photo
of Daddy and a male friend. His stance is casually aloof, yet one
arm is comfortably flung over his friend’s shoulder while their
other hands grasp each other. To this day I don’t remember how
I found it or where it was hidden all these years. Yet when this
photo showed up, I couldn’t help but study it like a detective.
Could this be the missing clue to my father’s sexuality?
Even so, it is still difficult to grasp what compelled Daddy
to leave us so dramatically. Was it my mother’s ultimate
rejection? Was it the possible exposure of his deep dark secret
and all that would entail? Was it an inner self-loathing or deep
conflict that was just too overwhelming to bear? I guess I will
never know. I have come to accept that whatever the final straw

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