Page 346 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland
P. 346
Reason To Sing
When I finally ran from him after nearly ten years of marriage,
my spirit had been broken too many times to count.
I came from an abusive household, and you might think
I would have known better, but we just didn’t call it out back
then. Even if I thought I deserved better, fear held me hostage
and Hudson totally played into my insecurities.
Finding the courage to leave him was one of the most
difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Despite his horrific treatment
of me, I never wanted to hurt him. My people-pleasing gene
kicked in even when I was in grave danger myself. It took a
long time for me to realize that it was okay to save ME.
They say it takes the average abused woman seven tries
to finally leave her mate for good. For me it was three. I am
grateful for that.
Many years after our divorce, I heard from Hudson’s
new wife. She wanted to talk with me about his ten years of
infidelities (three of those with her personal assistant) and
discuss whether I thought he could ever be faithful. I agreed
to text and answer some of her questions. She told me she
would be discreet about our communication. I’m not sure
what her definition of discreet is but … she told Hudson.
I then received a text from him explaining that he was now
in Romance Addiction therapy. I guess he had some kind of
epiphany.
Hudson was my first real love. We were two young, messed-
up people who had some talent and big dreams. But how could
it ever last when he already had me leaving him before we were
even married? I think I just outgrew the qualities that had
initially attracted me to him – confidence and control. And
once his insecurities took centre stage, his bag of tricks was
suddenly empty. I started spreading my wings and all he could
do was try to clip them.
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